Confession Mama

What the Kids are Wearing

2012-03-10T13:12:00.003-08:00

I've mentioned it before here on this blog, but since the topic of this blog has to do with this particular subject, I am going to say it again. I lack fashion sense. Yup. I don't actually own any accessories (besides my kids) because I don't really know how to pair them correctly with an outfit. As for clothes, you can always count on me to wear plain basic items that are quite safe and can be worn with comfortable under garments...ahem...that is no strapless or spaghetti straps. Thus, my wardrobe is boring and underwhelming. So, when I attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago, my good friend Kathy and I decided to scope out what "the kids are wearing these days" in order to try and spruce up our mom wardrobes. By kids we meant the kidless 20 somethings who are so stinking fashionable and cute. There we were, the two moms (me in a 4 year old very outdated dress, flashing unshaven legs, and zero accessories) scoping out all the "kids" and trying to decide if we could pull off the hip Spring looks that they were sporting. I took good mental notes and tried to figure out how to fit a shopping trip into my budget...no luck.

But...this past Thursday, I realized that I will be on stage singing this Sunday in front of thousands of people. I cannot look like a drab fashion-less woman in basic cotton mom clothes! This is my chance to go shopping and put all my mental notes to the test plus I stumbled upon a $50 gift card in my purse which was begging me to spend it. So, I did. I went to a store that I am sure all "the kids" shop at and ventured to buy an outfit complete with feather earrings and bangle bracelets (because that was in my notes). I am now praying that I do not look like a complete mismatched mess on Sunday. Hopefully, "the kids" like it!

My Purse: A Symbol of Me?

2012-02-26T14:48:00.003-08:00

This is my purse. This is what it looks like all the time. The good thing is that I have everything you could ever need in that thing. The problem is that it may take me years to find it. I don't think it symbolizes who I am as a person...you know, put together on the outside and a complete mess on the inside. I think it is more of a result of being a mom to 3 kids who hand me things all day long. Since, I need my hands free at all times, to carry a kid or collect another kid item, I naturally throw whatever they give me into my purse and before you know it, I am getting a call from the show Hoarders telling me my husband called them about my purse. I really don't see any way around this problem though. I mean, between the stuff I need in my purse for me and all of the kid's snacks, and their trash, and sippy cups, and treasures, and socks, and toys etc., it is impossible to have a clean purse. Can I get an "Amen?!"...No? Okay then, let's play a game. See if you can locate the following items!

Medical receipts that should have been mailed in weeks ago

A check book that has no more checks in it

2 of Maia's hair bows in case we ever need to spruce up her look

A baby spork

2 pens

A Sharpie

Paper clip

Lots of pennies

A variety of healthy snacks: plantain chips, cashews, gluten free kid cereal

2 viles of lip gloss

A piece of a candy cane

Maia's sunglasses

Broken pieces of spearmint gum

Empty gum wrappers and package

An iPad Stylus

And Purell to clean my hands with after searching around in my purse for anything.

The Parenting Strategy of the Season

2012-02-25T22:02:00.001-08:00

I have learned after 4 years of parenting that I will never get the hang of this parenting thing. Right when I think I've got a handle on things, my kids begin a new phase or take on a new personality. Now, instead of getting disappointed and surprised by the curve balls they throw me, I am always on my toes, reading parenting books, and changing up my strategies. I'm always ready to reach in my back pocket and pull out a whole new play book. The season I currently find myself in consists of weekly doctor visits, 2 preschoolers who feel the need to fight constantly, and a baby who is always moving. The strategy of this season is "Diversion and Task Assignment."

Exhibit A:
At our weekly trip to Kaiser, I am on my own with my three tornadoes, waiting for the second time in the World's slowest moving line to pick up Malakai's prescription. The pharmacy is packed with people, my purse has been emptied of its snacks, my voice is nearly gone from all the reprimanding, I am sweating from trying to hold my extremely squirmy baby, and my full-of-energy preschoolers are being extra loud and are on the verge of breaking into a full blown fist fight. I am all out of bribe material and am doing a great job of avoiding eye contact with all the patrons for fear of the murderous looks I might catch. Here is where my "Diversion and Task Assignment" strategy comes in handy. I call the two older children over and miraculously they obey. I have them stand on either side of me so that they will not touch each other and I assign them 10 jumping jacks each. They begin to jump while I count. As they jump, they giggle hysterically and forget about the fight they were about to start. Malakai stays still for the first time in the whole day as he is thoroughly entertained by their uncoordinated jumping jacks. We are quite the spectacle but I have successfully avoided fist fights and melt downs and we have made it to the front of the line without the entire pharmacy being demolished by my tornadoes. The strategy of the season has worked.

Now it's back to the drawing board for a new play book!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We are Super Heros

2012-02-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

See, I am not one of those feminist, women empowerment, alpha female type girls. I actually get a little annoyed with those "women-rule-the-world" songs on the radio. And, if you've ever read my blog, you know that I am very self-deprecating and that I know that I am far from perfect. But, I'd like to take a step away from the norm and use this post to give props to all the working moms of multiple children who take their multiple roles in life very seriously and strive to do the best that they can in every one of those roles.

When I sit and reflect on all the hats I wear, I get overwhelmed (which is why I don't do this often). I compared myself to a super hero and realized that super heros really do not live up to the term "super hero." I mean seriously, they have super human powers with which to defeat a bad guy. Anybody could do that.

Here is what my version of a super hero looks like: a working mom in a cute super hero costume, holding her cell phone to her ear with her shoulder on a business call, while changing her baby's poopy diaper, using one of her legs to separate her two pre-schoolers from fighting, while flirtatiously smiling at her husband across the room. In the background is a calendar with all the million ministry events, birthday parties, showers, school performances, doctor's appointments etc. all occurring on the same day. Does this picture, give you anxiety? If it does, then you are probably a man. If you are a working mommy, you are probably high-fiving the computer screen, because this is totally you!

You realize that at this stage in your life, you are never NOT multi-tasking. At every moment of every day, you are doing multiple things at same time. So, let's raise our mugs of extra-caffeintated coffee and say to each other GOOD JOB SUPER WOMEN! You're holding up the fort and doing a great job! Call on God daily to give you that super human strength to love Him, love your husband, love your children, love His people, and to do your job with excellence. Let's not be so overwhelmed that we miss the precious moments and forget to be present in the "now."

To the true super heros out there: YOU ROCK!

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh

2012-01-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

The past two days I have found myself laughing at inappropriate times. Because I am brutally honest, I am just going to come out and say that raising 3 children this close together in age means that I experience daily moments of torture. You know, moments of two kids yelling at the top of their lungs at each other in the backseat of my car while the baby cries out of fear that he may inadvertently get a blow to the face that is actually meant for a pre-schooler? Or, the moments when all I want to do is get the dishwasher loaded, but instead I have to run to the rescue of the baby who has finagled his way onto his knees in the highchair and is about to tip over while a preschooler is yelling from the toilet, "MOOOOOOOM, I'M ALL DONE!," and the other preschooler is simultaneously whining about a toy that he can't find and he is sure that he needs it right this second or the world will end. Those are daily occurrences in my household and I am almost positive that I will NOT miss those moments all though women older than I, swear that I will.

Anyways, back to my point. I have discovered a coping mechanism to help me and my children make it out alive during these torturous moments. That mechanism? LAUGH!

Example #1: I am used to being totally embarrassed at church by little Miss Maia Belle. But, I don't usually laugh when she embarrasses me. Yesterday, I did...and it actually made me feel better. We were at church after making the rounds of picking up all the whiny hungry kids. We were getting ready to take the kids to the car when Maia pulled Noah's hair because he did not do something how she wanted or when she wanted him to do it (this type of abuse is common for Noah from his sister). But, this time, instead of whining about it and telling on her, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He turned and grabbed 2 healthy handfuls of her hair and yanked as hard as he could. I am sure that the passers-by were appalled by my reaction because, I turned around so that my children could not see my face and I burst out laughing...quietly of course. When I gained composure and went to talk to Noah about how his reaction was not acceptable and to Maia about why it was equally unacceptable for her to hurt her brother, Noah's determined, and unapologetic face amused me so much so that it took every ounce of my being to keep a straight face. Sometimes it feels like 70% of my day is spent breaking up fights and correcting my children and apparently I feel the need to laugh in order to not go crazy.

Example #2: After running errands with all three energy-filled children and going out to lunch. Ricky and I were eagerly anticipating getting home and getting the kids to bed. We had broken up countless fights, fed the baby wayyy too many snacks just to keep him quiet, and had used our stern voices so much that our throats hurt. So, once we got the kids in their seats and headed home. We were hoping for them to wind down and maybe even fall asleep in the car. Instead, our preschoolers decided to get in a yelling match in the backseat while Malakai screamed his little head off because the poor thing has to sit right in the middle of the two crazy kids. Ricky and I looked at each other as if to say, "It's your turn to yell at them." As soon as our eyes met, we began to laugh uncontrollably. We laughed and laughed and laughed until I thought my bladder would explode. The best part of the whole episode was that our kids all quieted down because they could not figure out what was so funny.

The moral of the story is...when you feel as though your kids might drive you to jump off a cliff, LAUGH!

Malakai 9 months

2012-01-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

This little guy is so much fun! He is 9 months old and has such a fun personality. We think that he is going to be our most adventurous child. He is such a fast army crawler and whenever we turn our heads for just a second, he ends up under a table, behind a chair or in between furniture.

He has had consistent ear infections for about 5 months now and we are in the process of taking him to a specialist to see about taking the next step. He has been on every kind of antibiotic on the market!

He is so happy in spite of the pain in his ears. He says bye bye and waves, he loves to point to the sky and say "bah" for birds. He claps his hands and gives kisses. He prefers table food to baby food and will rarely even open his mouth for baby food! He enjoys his big sister very much as she takes care of him a lot. Almost every morning I find her in his crib with him because "he was crying."

My little Malakai Kade loves his mommy so much and prefers to be held by only her. I love my little guy and am trying to soak up every second with him because this baby stage is gone in the blink of an eye.

You Know You're a Bad Driver When...

2012-01-07T15:43:00.001-08:00

Maia: Mommy, are you supposed to park on the lines or in between the lines?

Me: In between the lines.

Maia: How come you always park crooked on the lines? That's not how you are supposed to do it.

Me: Yeah, Mommy is just not a very good driver.

Maia: But, daddy always parks in between the lines. How come you don't?

Me:...

I'd just like to say now, that I was not in the driver's seat today when we acquired the big dent in the front of our truck. A certain someone who "always parks in between the lines" turned into the garage wall instead of into the garage! HA!

2011

2011-12-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

2011 was a good year. It was a year full of challenges and wonderful blessings all at the same time. It was also year of growth.

I continued with my Good Morning Girls email group which has kept me accountable to spending time daily with the Lord and has sharpened me continuously as iron sharpens iron.

Early in the year, my honey surprised me with the best birthday present ever: three of my dearest friends taking me out to dinner!

Then in April, our newest addition Malakai Kade made his entrance into the world.

This is where my first big challenge came in the form of intense post-partum depression. God was faithful as He always is and rescued me by way of 2 Samuel 22.

We've formed new friendships this year for which I am ever so grateful. One of the families were gracious enough to invite us with them on vacation this Summer!

Then, our close friends blessed us with a trip to Hawaii where Ricky and I got to spend some much needed quality time together.

God called us out to stop only serving ourselves and to be Kingdom-minded and start serving Him! We began to lead a table at our marriage ministry at church and have been beyond blessed by this opportunity to serve Jesus.

We have also been convicted in the area of serving "the least of these," which we had not been doing prior to this year. We were blessed to serve as a family in Adopt-a-Block and in our food pantry ministry and have committed to being more servant oriented in the new year.

We have had our share of challenges in the parenting department as you may have read about in my blogs. Navigating through those has been quite humbling and educational! I've had my share of ugly mommy moments where all I wanted to do was sell my children to the highest bidder, and eat a hot meal for once, and only worry about getting myself ready in the morning, and sleep in, and go the bathroom in peace! It amazes me how God loves me through those ugly moments.

This year has found me stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways in my job and in using my talents. I have learned that I am called to obedience and that I can do all things through Christ alone.

2012 is going to be exciting, I just know it! It holds some unknowns for my family as far as our living situation goes and I am having to just trust in the Lord. It's a year that also holds potential for big things!

I am making it my goal this year to love like Jesus and to just practice obedience and rid myself of selfishness. It sounds impossible,but it is worth striving for.

My verse for this year is Hebrews 10:24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

Happy New Year

My High Horse has Gone Missing

2011-11-27T21:53:00.001-08:00

Before I had kids, I knew that my kids would be little angels. I knew this because I knew exactly how I'd parent them. My children would never throw tantrums in public or disrespect me. They would always be polite, kind, and obedient because I would be the perfect mom.
Never in my worst of nightmares did I see myself being at a big church event with my daughter throwing an Exorcist-worthy-tantrum. Surely, I would die before I'd be THAT mom walking her child through the crowds of people while her child writhes and screams and attempts to bite her mother. I would NEVER allow my child to scream until she was blue in the face and nearly passes out in a public place. Not me! I would be the mom with the kids who walked in a cloud of light because they came straight from Heaven...HA HA HA!
I can't even write that while keeping a straight face. It's humorous now to think that I thought that way back then. To think that I supposed I could maintain any shred of dignity is laughable.
Why? Because when you're Maia Belle's mommy, humiliation is the name of the game. There is no room for pride when your child throws the king of all temper tantrums at a big church event (my place of employment). There is no place for dignity when you walk through crowds of people you know while your writhing screaming child is attempting to bite you only after your table of friends watched your daughter scream until she was blue in the face.
My lofty hopes of maintaining my pride and dignity while being a mom are long gone. They have been replaced with a heaping serving of humility by means of humiliation. It's obvious that I needed to come off my high horse, but little did I know that I also needed to be stomped six feet under ground as well. I would venture to say that I will never have a problem with pride or narcissism, my daughter will make sure of it!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Third-Child-Hazards

2011-11-21T12:25:00.000-08:00

Hi! I'm Malakai Kade Murray...why are you laughing? See, this is why I am writing this blog. I want everyone to know why being a third child is hazardous to your health.

Exhibit A. Every time I have this pacifier in my mouth, people laugh at me, and I just can't figure out why. I think my parents want me to have a complex.

Exhibit B. Instead of coming to rescue me from eating a leaf which could potentially give me a stomach ache or make me choke, my parents take a picture of me, eating said leaf.

Exhibit C. I've got some older siblings who are just slightly older than me and can't really handle my weight, but my crazy parents will do anything for a picture of them and I together so they ask my siblings to hold me which means my insides get smooshed, my shirt gets shoved up into my face, I can't see because the sun is in my eyes (my mom says that is the best lighting) and my belly is showing for everyone to see. Seriously, mom? So embarrassing.

(Mom finally comes to my rescue after I start crying and I nearly get dropped too early by my sister).

Exhibit D. These are the crazy people who raise me! Don't they just look like they could be hazardous to my health?! It's amazing that I am still alive to write this post after all the third-child-hazards I've survived!

Maia's Vocabulary

2011-11-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

My precocious 3 year old has quite the vocabulary. She is so advanced, in fact that she teaches me new words on a regular basis. Here are some of the words she has added to my vocabulary...

"Chicketating"-" When you feed the chickens."

This came on the tails of a conversation explaining the differences between the words INTERESTING and IRRITATING. She had combined them into one word "interrating." After defining these two words for her, she matter-of-factly informed me that there was also the word "Chicketating."

"Turnupenlater"- "The red and white things that close when a train comes and stay up when the train is gone."

Maia has since changed this to "Turnenlater." Apparently, she has the freedom to change the words as she sees fit. This is used on a regular basis as we drive over train tracks quite often.

"Fluffy"- "When someone is changing your diaper and you get all crazy and turn around and be naughty, that's called when you're being 'fluffy.'"

She was observing me struggling to change Malakai's diaper when she was inspired with this word.

"Crack-a-doo-dah"- as in "You're being a crazy crack-a-doo-dah"

There is no rhyme or reason for this one. It just is what it is because that is what Maia says!

The Kid Table

2011-11-12T20:32:00.000-08:00

This weekend is pure chaos. Ricky was in a wedding on Friday evening which means we attended the rehearsal and dinner on Thursday evening, then Sunday my brother is getting married, which means we attended the rehearsal and rehearsal lunch today. The kicker is that we've had all three kids with us at every single event and they are all sick...and so is Ricky. It's been quite adventurous, but the most humorous moment for me so far was Thursday night's rehearsal dinner...

My kids are all coughing violently throughout the rehearsal in spite of my attempts to drug them with cough syrup (which I am not supposed to administer to my young children...but I was desperate...don't judge me). I was getting interesting looks as people came to coo at Malakai and noticed his nose covered in snot. And, I was so overwhelmed in the process of getting everyone ready and out the door on time after a full day of work that I forgot to bring snacks and so my children were complaining about how hungry they were. I searched through my purse for some old piece of fruit that may have still been semi-fresh. Instead of finding food, I littered the floor of the church with grocery store receipts that some how never make it out of my purse. After, cleaning up that mess, we found a spot in the foyer with toys! Hallelujah!

We spent the entire ride to the rehearsal dinner location, listening to whining and trying to bribe our tired and sick children to not embarrass us at the dinner. At this point, you may be asking what would possess us to take our three children to this event. Well, you see, the bride and groom informed us that "everyone" would be bringing their kids and so we should bring ours. It turns out "everyone" was one other couple with a very quiet newborn. When we walked into the room, I prayed that they would have arranged it so that we could have our very own table, but to my horror, I realized we were placed with an unsuspecting, lovely, pre-children couple plus the "special" uncle. I apologized for them being placed at the kids table as soon as we bombarded the table with all of our children, and our luggage. Then, as if choreographed all three of my children begin to cough up their lungs simultaneously. I quickly covered their mouths with my hands and then without thinking introduced myself to the table guests offering my germy hand. Bad move.

Anyways the night continued to be comedic as the "special" uncle scared my kids, my kids insisted on using their sleeves as snot rags, and the coughing became background music...not to mention, I went up and gave a "speech" during the open mic session with a sleeping baby in my arms and my kids running wild in the adjacent conference room. I really did have meaningful things to say, but my speech sounded nothing like what it sounded like in my head. Maybe it was because I caught a glimpse of myself in the window as I was walking up and noticed that I had sweat glistening on my forehead, my hair was all messed up and hanging in my face, and I had a sleeping child in my arms who had drooled all over my shirt. This sorry reflection of myself must've thrown me off a bit!

All of this to say, that I felt terrible for those poor people who got stuck at our table and had to be coughed on all night by my children. I really hope that they have strong immune systems.

Dinner Time

2011-10-04T20:43:00.001-07:00

There's nothing like working all day, then coming home and slaving in the kitchen to make sure my family has a healthy home cooked meal only to sit down at the table to my son saying, "Awww man, I don't like _____(insert whatever I have cooked)!" It used to make my blood boil, but now my blood just simmers...I am making progress. The rule in our house is that it does not matter whether or not you like it, you must eat it...ALL of it. Although, I always win, my son puts up a good fight EVERY night. It's exhausting and to be honest it usually ends up with me at my wits end, frustrated, and threatening to throw toys away and never allow him to eat sugar ever again in his life, and telling him about the starving kids in Africa etc....it's ridiculous!
Tonight, I decided to try a new strategy. I asked him to eat a few times and let him know that he would not get up off the table until he finished. This time I added no additional threats and prayed through my frustration so that I would stay calm and not let him get to me. Of course by the time everyone else had finished, he had taken ONE bite and he was still chewing it...gross! We all got up and finished watching HIS new movie and ate dessert while he sat at the table and whined and threw a fit and told me how much he did not like what I had made and tried to negotiate the amount he needed to eat. I stood my ground and prayed a lot and just reiterated that it was his choice. Then, I cleaned the kitchen and gave the other two kids a bath. After sitting at the table for over an hour and a half, my stubborn son finally realized that his dinner was not poison and that his mommy was more stubborn than him! He ate all his food and my blood pressure was at a normal range! VICTORY is so sweet...especially because it's so rare when you have 3 kids ages 4 and under whose goal in life is to drive their mama crazy!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tantrums Are Contagious

2011-10-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

Did you know that tantrums are contagious? So, stay away from those tantrum throwing 2 and 3 year olds or you just might find yourself screaming at the top of your lungs, jumping up and down, and throwing yourself on the floor kicking and screaming. You may not believe me, but I'm telling you it's true. If you are around demon-possessed toddlers or pre-schoolers long enough, you will find yourself acting like them.

My three-year-old was having a marathon tantrum day and apparently I just could no longer be a parent. My calm yet firm facade was wearing thin, my blood was boiling, and I all of a sudden had no self-control left in my being. It was kind of like an out-of-body experience as I watched myself do exactly what my daughter was doing. Thank God no one was around to watch me scream and cry and throw myself on the floor. But, it really wasn't my fault. Those things are contagious...I swear. Apparently, my dramatics scared my daughter into obedience...but I am positive that Mrs. Duggar has some sort of antibiotic to keep these contagious tantrums at bay...I need to get me some of those...

Busy, Busy, Busy

2011-09-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

I have a second to breathe...sigh...life is so fun and yet so crazy. My babies are growing so quickly and I am trying to soak in the present with them. In these past few weeks we've been to the beach for a quick vacation, to Oak Glen to pick berries and buy apples, and to Disneyland a couple of times.

Malakai is now eating baby food which I make. This has turned out to be quite the task which destroys my kitchen and takes hours but it saves me lots of money and so it is worth it. I think I was a little over-zealous in my first attempt. I tried to make enough food for 2 weeks and made about 8 different fruits and vegetables. I have many little cuts and burns on my fingers. I'm almost positive there is a little blood mixed in with the pureed veggies. Oh well.

Maia is finally in a big girl bed as of yesterday and no longer sleeps with Elmo. I actually did not force this on her. I wanted her to keep Elmo forever so that I could get sleep! But, she threw him out of her bed and then picked him up, placed him in a brown paper bag and informed us that she would throw him out tomorrow. Then, she fell asleep and slept through the whole night. I cried. But, I am glad to see that her strong will is good for something! Tonight she had a harder time going to sleep and she did ask for Elmo but I just laid down with her for a fe minutes and she fell right to sleep.

Noah has been dealing with separation anxiety since Malakai's arrival and it has been progressively getting worse. So, I am trying all kinds of reasoning strategies with him and nothing is working. Tomorrow I am going to try to put him with the non-napping kids at school and see if that helps with the dramatics at drop off time.

I have just finished co-writing a book proposal which I know will have a huge affect on the world if it gets picked up. I am praying that the publisher will get behind it.

With everything going on, blogging has not been a priority which I hate. This is like a journal for me and when I blog I remember the funny things my kids say and do and I feel like I missed a lot these past several weeks because I've been so busy. I do remember that Maia's version of the Joseph story in the Bible was hilarious though. She said that Joseph's brothers threw him in a hole and Jesus came and picked him up out of the hole. But, the brothers were not mean, they were nice. They threw him in the hole because they knew Jesus would come and get him. Nice!

The Disaster That Is Working From Home

2011-08-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today, I ended up having to work from home while having all 3 of my kids here with me. This is quite a feat. As I sat working diligently in the office and Malakai took his nap in my room, Noah and Maia took it upon themselves to completely destroy the house.

Noah asked if he could play with his army men in the "potato" (I made homemade play-dough the other day, I'm still patting myself on the back for that, because I do nothing crafty). I didn't see this being a problem so I said yes. Maia also said that she would be having a tea party and making cupcakes with the "potato." This is the end result of those two playing with the "potato."

This picture actually does not do the mess justice, because you can't see that half of the play-dough was on the floor in itty bitty annoying pieces and they had been stepped on and dragged all over the house.

Next my two munchkins came in to show me that they had played dress up...

In this picture we have Spider man and Mardi Gras Wolverina Tinker Bell

In this picture we have Spider man and The Ever Over Accessorized Baby Tinker Thor

After dress up, I was almost done with my work to do list and after lots of commotion with them running back and forth from their room to the living room and listening to them sing Happy Birthday to each other, they asked me to come out and see "my presents" that they got me for my birthday. This is what I came out to.

Each of those blankets had a pile of toys underneath them that had been taken out of the toy box. The blankets were wrapping paper. I did my best to not act shocked at the tornado that had gone through my living room and opened my presents and then kindly asked them to put all the presents back. Now, I have cleaned up all the messes, fed them lunch, changed and fed the baby and am more than ready for nap time.

Working from home is quite the adventure!

Cartwheels Are a Bad Idea

2011-08-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, I can do a somersault but there's a boy in my class who spreads his arms out and does one arm first and then the other arm and flips his legs over. But, I can't do that." Noah was trying to show me his gymnastics skills and was explaining to me that the little boy in his class could do a cartwheel. In that moment I completely forgot that I was...ahem...however old I am and decided that I would impress my 4 year old son by showing him that I could do a cartwheel. Why? Don't ask...I have no idea.

Ricky was witnessing this little demonstration. He laughed and had a few cautionary remarks which I completely blew off and instead became more determined to show off my cartwheel skills. Noah, looked at me wide-eyed as I wound up and ordered everyone to move out of the way. I dropped my hand down and thrust my legs over in a spin wheel motion and very ungracefully thumped my feet back onto the floor while simultaneously hearing a loud "POP!" "OUCH!" Noah was impressed and worried at the same time, Ricky was stifling his laughter and shaking his head in an I-told-you-so sort of way. I dropped to the floor in pain.

I've been dealing with a sharp pain in my leg ever since as well as trying to figure out why I thought I had to show my 4 year old that I could do a cartwheel. I have learned my lesson and will not be doing any more tumbling as I have come to grips with the fact that I am aging! But, I must say that it has come in handy as a good excuse not to have my daily meetings with Jillian Michaels!

Whining and Tantrums...From Mama

2011-08-19T19:46:00.001-07:00

I always ask myself where my kids get their whiny and tantrum throwing natures from. Today, I was humbled because I realize that they get it from me.

It's been a long super busy week. One filled with amazing things as well as some really hard things. There have been some sleepless nights and some nights where I've gotten 7 hours of consecutive sleep. It's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Fridays are my days with the kids by myself...my day "off." But, all you mommies know that there is no such thing as a "day off" when you are a mommy of little ones. Anyways, I was looking forward to nap time today when I would get a chance to catch up on my thoughts, to sit and breathe, to do my work out, to do my quiet time, and to just enjoy the silence. I will never look forward to or count on nap time that much ever again. It was disastrous. No one slept, instead, we had whining, yelling, fighting, peeing in the bed, crying, and spankings during what was supposed to be my 2 1/2 hours of "me time." The rest of my day was ruined and I found myself whining and throwing tantrums...in an adult sort of way....you know saying things like, "Why can't everyone just cooperate so I can have some me time. I deserve it after the week I've had." There was a lot of eye rolling, heavy sighing, sarcastic remarks going on. I mean seriously, all I wanted to do was have one complete thought without being interrupted by fighting children...and to go to the bathroom in peace. I felt myself spiraling down down down and yet...I could feel my gracious loving Savior whispering Scripture into my ears, "Do everything without grumbling or complaining." Then came my response, "I knoooooow BUT, my daughter is out of control. Can you not hear that all she has done is whine and throw tantrums for an hour straight because she refused to take her nap? I can't control myself...she is making me crazy." His voice came again, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. I discipline my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I may not be disqualified." But, but, but...I came up with every excuse in the book, because I wanted to do it my way. I wanted to whine and complain instead of doing things His way.
I expect my kids to obey and do what I say without hesitating and without whining and yet when God asks the same of me, I fight Him on it. Yuck! I've been humbled today and encouraged at the same time. In my quiet time this afternoon (Ricky let me go to Starbucks so I could have my "me time") I read John 21 where Jesus reinstates Peter. He loves Peter so much. Even though Peter failed Him miserably. I was encouraged because I know that He loves me that much too. I had to ask for forgiveness. I know that He will give me an opportunity again to prove my love for Him and I pray that I will prove that I love Him so much and will obey even when it is not easy.
The other thing I learned is that it is very important for me to teach my kids to obey without hesitating, whining, or talking back because this will prepare them for their walk with Christ.
So, today was rough. But, because God works all things out for good for those who love Him, it was not a complete disaster...I had the contents of my heart revealed and I am confessing all my ugliness in hopes that it may serve as encouragement to at least one mommy out there.

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Some Fun Pics

2011-08-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

My crazy haired kids pushing each other on the swings. They really do love each other but sometimes (okay, A LOT of times), they push each other's buttons and I have to intervene so that everyone makes it out alive.

I decided to try Malakai in the swing too but I could not find his hat, so I had to use Maia's girl hat. He was not happy about this!

They do enjoy being silly and making each other and mommy and daddy laugh. Maia's favorite word is "crack -uh-doo-dah." She made it up and says it all the time and it never fails to make us laugh!

My baby boy is getting cuter by the second. He is finally starting to sleep through the night consistently and has been eating cereal too for about 2 weeks now. He loves his cereal. He has also stopped crying every time he gets into the car and is starting to fit the 3rd child stereotype of laid back, easy going, and happy. I love kissing him all over his face and neck and making him laugh every night at bed time. I just can't get enough of my little guy. He is growing too quickly.

I am lucky to get to spend time weekly with my good friend Kathy. Our kids get a long great and even say that they will marry each other and call out for each other in their sleep! I am blessed by her family. Little Miss Ava, LOVES Baby "Mou-Tai" and is in Heaven every time she gets to hold him.

Ricky and I have committed to changing our eating habits and have been sticking to the Sugar Busters way of eating for 4 months now. We love it and we feel great! But, we felt like after sticking to it for over 3 months, we deserved a serious cheat meal. So, we went to Bruxie in Orange and had waffle sandwiches and waffle desserts and milkshakes. We felt sick afterwards and I had to unbutton my jeans, but it was sooooo worth it!

So proud of my little guy for serving Jesus by picking up trash. I love this picture from our day at Adopt a Block.

The Story Competition

2011-08-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

I always look forward to talking with my kids after their Sunday School class. I try my best to reinforce the lessons they learned and I like to see how well they listened to the Bible lesson. Lately, however, Maia has felt as though this is a competition with Noah as to who has the best story. If Noah tells me about a kid in his class, Maia makes up a story about a kid in her class (usually the kid was naughty and pushed her or something of that nature). Yesterday, Noah told me that the story in his class was about Jonah. He repeated the whole story back to me without missing a beat. It was quite impressive and he understood that we are to obey God and always tell people of His love even if we don't like them.

...And then there was Maia...Oh Maia...crazy competitive Maia. Maia's story went on for about 15 minutes. She said that the story she learned in her class was about Jesus and a naughty elephant who was chasing him and then there was Joseph and Spider man who came to try to save Jesus from the naughty elephant and somehow there were princesses and Giraffes involved as well. I lost track of all the characters in the story. Poor Noah, sat there wide-eyed and feeling like he got gipped because Spider man was not mentioned in his Bible story.
I sat there trying to figure out if I should correct her for lying, caution her against blasphemy (as Jesus would never run away from an elephant or need spider man or Joseph's help for anything), or if I should encourage her imagination. I was at a loss.

I Saw God Today

2011-08-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him. John 12:26

"Mommy, what does Jesus look like?" Another deep theological "stump mommy" question had come out of my 4 year old's mouth. Shoot! Uh...quick, think of something...why is my brain so slow...got it, "I think He has long hair like Noah!" Laughter came from the back seat and my little ones moved on to a new topic of conversation. Phew! Today, as I played a game of Duck Duck Goose, I recalled that particular conversation...

Ricky and I decided to spend the morning along with our kids serving at "Adopt-a- Block." This is a ministry of our church run by a young woman named Alix. She and others had a vision to show love in its purest form to those who need it most. They do this by "adopting" a neighborhood in the poorest parts of town, going there weekly, picking up trash, playing with the kids, and interacting with the families. This is not a "hand-out" ministry, but rather a ministry of love demonstrated through quality time, service, and relationship building. This week, however, was an exception to the rule. Alix realized that too many kids from the blocks were having to start school with no school supplies. She and her team organized a backpack drive and collected backpacks to take to the children. Ricky and I thought that this would be a good way to show our kids in a very tangible way what it means to serve Jesus, love others, and help those in need.

I must have been quite a sight as I herded my brood through the block with a trash bag in hand, wearing a 4 month old, and directing my 3 and 4 year olds to pick up trash with their over sized gloves. I kept trying to explain to them that we were serving Jesus by making the neighborhood clean for the people that lived there. Although, they looked at me like I was crazy, I kept right on encouraging them with this explanation! Once the door-to-door teams got all the kids to come out to the street, we sang songs with the kids and did a short devotion on prayer. As I was standing there sweating like a pig in the hot sun while doing my best to shade my 4 month old and trying to keep my hot 3 year old from throwing a tantrum, I kept feeling the presence of Jesus in that place. I felt like if Jesus was here on this earth, right now, He would be right there with all those kids, teaching them hand motions to a silly song, and praying over them. In that moment, the fact that I was drenched with sweat, that my 4 month old was getting sunburned, that my 3 year old had taken off her shoes with glass all around and was on the verge of a tantrum didn't matter. All that mattered was that Jesus was in that place and I was there too.
We split into groups after the song time and played Duck Duck Goose. My heart broke as I watched the boys gravitate toward Ricky. These kids have such a lack of male role models in their lives and I could see it in spending just a few moments with them. As soon as Ricky joined the game, all the boys wanted him to chase them, play with his hat, and get a ride on his shoulders.
At the end of our time with these precious ones, we stood in line with them to get backpacks and had the privilege of watching their eyes light up as they opened their new prized possession. I could not help but giggle, as I watched the boys walk around with their heads held high and their chests puffed out proudly showing off their new backpacks to each other. And my heart delighted in seeing the little girls' faces brighten with huge smiles when they discovered markers and glitter pens in their bags.

I saw God today. He was on a block in Corona with a bunch of poor kids and ordinary people who were picking up trash and giving out backpacks. And though I can't describe His physical features, I do know that He was beautiful.

Treasures

2011-08-08T22:22:00.001-07:00

But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Being a mom is overwhelming: Changing diapers, fending off tantrums, teaching obedience, wiping butts, reminding to use manners, making lunches, keeping them entertained, showing them Jesus, brushing teeth, giving baths, telling them to "just go to sleep" a million times at bed time, waking up in the middle if the night to feed etc. I do what I can to survive most of the time. But, this verse in Luke always stays at the forefront of my kind in the midst of the chaos. I ask God to help me see the treasures daily in my kids and store them in my heart.

Lately, I've been getting a glimpse into Noah's heart. He is just so compassionate. He cries when he accidentally hurts someone, because it just hurts his soul to cause someone pain. He was telling me a super hero story the other day, and I leaned in too close as he demonstrated how the super hero punched the bad guy, he got me right in the eye! I winced in pain and the look on his face broke my heart. "Mommy, are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was an accident." My eye started watering from being hit, his big brown eyes filled with tears as he intently studied my face. I could not hide the pain. He could not bear that he had caused me pain. I quickly picked him up and hugged him and assured him that I was okay. He let out a sob but quickly bit his lip and tried to remain strong. It was a battle. He just felt so terrible but wanted to be tough at the same time. I tried to change the subject and get his mind off of it, but his eyes always reverted back to my red watering eye, and the tears would start to well up again in his. I treasured this in my heart.

He had this same reaction two other times that I can remember since then: when he accidentally hit Maia's hand as they were playing, and when she said that she sat alone in her class at church. It broke Noah's heart to know that he had hurt his little sister and that she was lonely in her class. My 4 year old was born with a heart that mourns with those who mourn. I treasure these things in my heart.

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My Favorite Super Hero

2011-07-29T13:57:00.001-07:00

A Glimpse into My Life "In The Trenches"

2011-07-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

My friend has described my life with 3 little ones as being "in the trenches." I could not think of a better description. Every day is a hard work: Having to do everything for everyone as they are too little to do anything for themselves is exhausting...not to mention waking up in the middle of the night every night to breastfeed. Every day is a battle: A battle with my 3 year old not to hit her brother out of anger; a battle with my 4 year-old not to whine and to obey the first time; and a battle with my baby to sleep through the night and stop screaming uncontrollably in the car. Every day is unpredictable: I never know who is going to have a meltdown at the wrong moment; who is going to decide to have a defiant day; or who is going to decide that they do not like the clothes I chose for them to wear.
Just so that you can get a better understanding of my life "in the trenches," I have posted this video of our average every day car ride.
Noah is fighting with Maia because Maia has said that there is NO traffic even though there clearly is traffic just to tick off her brother; Maia is making Noah even more upset because she is putting Malakai's pacifier in her mouth and then putting it in his mouth (she does this as well for the sole purpose of ticking off her brother); Noah is very upset about his sister being mean and about the traffic so he starts to pray; through the entire car ride, Malakai is screaming at the top of his lungs; and finally, Ricky is ready to exit the vehicle and run far far away!

Warning: You will probably make it through 10 seconds of this and not be able to watch anymore...but I figured I'd post it anyways!

Untitled from Taleah Murray on Vimeo.

...But I'm Sure Paul Did NOT have 3 Little Kids

2011-07-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

³ We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. ⁴ In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. ⁵ We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. ⁶ We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us,^[c] and by our sincere love. ⁷ We faithfully preach the truth. God’s power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. ⁸ We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. ⁹ We are ignored, even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. ¹⁰ Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.. 2 Corinthians 6:3-10

So, the other morning, I woke up after having only 5 hours of interrupted sleep. I nearly threw my phone across the room when the alarm went off. I sleepily walked to the bathroom and squeezed some Visine into my tired bloodshot eyes and proceeded to get ready for work. I knew this was going to be a bad morning...

The baby woke up before I had a chance to finish getting ready, then Noah woke up and decided that it was going to a be a whining-for-everything type day, and Maia chose to have a throw-a-tantrum-because-I-can't-call-the-shots type day. Don't they know how tired I am? As the morning went on, I got more and more irritated and mean. I think I bit everyone's head off including Ricky's (I don't think he did anything but I was on a roll so I got mad at him for pouring the milk too slowly or something).

Then, as I drove to work with my screaming baby, my whiny preschooler, and my pouty toddler. This passage in 2 Corinthians came to mind. God was speaking to me. And, all I could do was argue..."But God, Paul did NOT have 3 little kids that drove him crazy after not getting any sleep! I know that he says that I am to be a minister of God and an example to everyone, but did he have to deal with a screaming baby and a preschooler who whines for EVERYTHING, and a tantrum throwing out-of-control toddler?...Yes, I understand that he was beaten and imprisoned and starving and sleepless, but...but...but...

Yup, there I was arguing with God about how I should be excused from my behavior because Paul didn't have 3 little kids to deal with after a sleepless night. He was only beaten, starved, and imprisoned.

Sometimes, I wonder how God puts up with me and my crazy rants! But, I am so thankful that He is patient with me and loves me anyways.

Maia's Version of The Story

2011-07-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Me: So, Maia, what did you learn in your church class today?

Maia: We learned about the snake.

Me: What about the snake?

Maia: The sneaky snake told Eve to eat the fruit, but God told Eve not to eat the fruit. But, Eve was naughty and ate the fruit. She didn't obey.

Me: And what happened to her because she didn't obey God?

Maia: She got a pretty dress.

Me: She got a pretty dress?

Maia: Yeah. At the beginning, she didn't have clothes, but after she ate the fruit she got a pretty dress. It didn't have sparkles though.

Later in the day, I asked Noah about the story. I hoped that he could help Maia understand it a little better...

Noah: Yeah Eve pointed at the sneaky snake and Adam pointed at Eve.

Me: Oh, so they were blaming others for their bad choices?

Noah: Uh huh. They were not supposed to eat the fruit from that one tree. There was lots of other trees and God said, "You can eat the fruit from all the other trees, but not that one." But, they didn't obey. The sneaky snake made Eve eat the fruit.

Me: They didn't obey God right? They ate the fruit from the tree that they were told not to eat from.

Maia: Yeah, they're not supposed to do that 'cuz it's dirty. They're supposed to wash the fruit first because it's dirty since it grows from the ground!

Good to know that my daughter is comprehending the profound truths found in Scripture...ay yaiy yaiy...

Parenting is Heavy

2011-07-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Intelligence, success, happiness, fame, talent, health. I am supposed to want these things for my children. I have heard many times, "I just want my kids to grow up to be successful, responsible, contributors to society." Or I've heard this one many times, "I just want my children to grow up to be happy." These sayings sound so wonderful and yet so hollow and empty at the same time.

As a parent, I was given these fragile, impressionable, priceless little lives to mold. What do I want for them? What is my ultimate goal in raising them? Do I want them to be healthy? Do I want them to be successful? Do I want them to be smart? Do I want them to "realize their full potential?" NO! My ultimate goal; the only thing that matters to me is that they know and love Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Without this nothing matters. The thought of them not choosing, not knowing Christ, makes me dizzy and sick to my stomach. However, if they know Christ and they get cancer (God forbid), I know that they will be comforted in Christ and that I will see them again in Heaven; If they are not the sharpest tool in the shed, they know that Christ's power is made perfect in their weakness; If they are not the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company, they know that they can do whatever it is they choose to the glory of God.

Happiness, success, intelligence are all fleeting, empty, and hollow without Jesus. I feel as though Christian parents have lost sight of this in America today. We say that we want our kids to know Christ, but we are lazy and unintentional about it. Maybe we do not really believe that our kids will go to Hell, ETERNAL TORMENT, if they do not choose to follow Christ. It is not real to us so instead we spend all our time encouraging our kids to follow their dreams, to use their brain, and to behave, all for the sake of raising happy responsible contributors to society. We may even incorporate church on Sundays and prayer before meals because we want them to have God as a part of their lives. We forget that God does not allow us to have Him as a part of our lives. God requires the WHOLE of our lives.

I have had this burden on my heart as I watch well-intentioned Christian parents miss that the ultimate goal in our parenting should be to lead our children to the cross, to point them to Jesus, and to exemplify His love. I am in the process of discovering that this is a huge task, a high calling, and not for the faint of heart. It requires much patience, endurance, and most of all Christ's power. My daily meetings with Him are vital as I count on His strength and wisdom and power to constantly point my children to Christ as we go about our daily lives.

I take my calling as a parent very seriously and I have no desire to fail my children. I pray that one day, when my kids are grown and I am still on this earth serving Jesus, I will look to my right and my left and see my children serving alongside me taking down the gates of Hell and growing God's kingdom. Furthermore, I pray that when Ricky and I are in Heaven bowing before the King of Kings, Noah, Maia, and Malakai will be right there with us singing His praises at the top of their lungs.

In light of that picture, intelligence, health, and success seem pretty meaningless...

Multitasking

2011-07-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

If only I was always this happy, calm, collected, and put together while multitasking....

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Mom Jeans & Boring Basics

2011-07-03T18:41:00.001-07:00

The big red signs with the big white words beckoned me. I could feel the magnetic force drawing me in. I entered. I expected all the joys of shopping to fill me like they always do when I enter one of my favorite clothing stores while a sale is taking place. Instead, this unfamiliar feeling of insecurity overwhelmed me. As I looked around, I was overwhelmed: Do I get the flowery prints? Can I pull off the mid waste belt look? Are those shorts too short? Should I stick with the solids? Am I supposed to layer that top? Am i too old for that dress? What size am I anyways? I realized then, that in the 9 months that I was pregnant, I had completely lost my sense of style.
Now, I've never been on the cutting edge of fashion, but I knew what looked good on me. However, after being in maternity clothes for much of the last year, and working with a bunch of young beautiful pre-baby fashionistas, I had no clue what to buy. I was so afraid that I'd end up with "mom jeans" and plain t-shirts in my bag by the time I walked out of the store. I almost just turned around and left but... I couldn't resist a sale! So, I made my rounds and purchased a few items including a skirt for $1.00 (only because I knew that if one of those fashionistas from work came across that skirt, she would find some way to make it cute, and I wanted to be like her).
I am now sitting here looking at my purchases and I'm a little disappointed. I played it safe for fear of ending up on that "What Not to Wear" show. I stuck with the boring solid colored basic items. And, while I am glad I avoided the "mom jeans," I'm disappointed with my boring sense of style.

The conclusion that I came to is: I NEED a personal stylist!

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Update on My Life Through Mobile Pics

2011-06-28T21:52:00.001-07:00

I've been spending time playing with my two wild haired children, and my one cutie pie little guy. Maia informed me the other day that she says naughty words in her head and that I can't hear her. Also, after a time-out incident she let me know that she would like to stay in time out for a little while longer. It is hard to keep a straight face with that one.
Noah has been going through a defiant stage which is proving quite challenging, but he is loving VBS. They were given clay to make a craft today and could make anything they wanted...he made a sword and his best friend Caleb made a gun...should I be worried?
Malakai is teasing me with on and off good nights of sleep. I've finally gotten used to his car crying.

I got to forget about being a mommy of three for a bit and get all dolled up for fun...yup I even took a picture of myself with my phone in my car...while driving...lame. But, I was just so happy to be all made up! Not all of these ones are mobile phone pics, but I had to include some of the other pics because I felt so cute!...Oh and I had a lovely girl day with Pam Booher where I got my toes done (I got a design for once...only because I didn't have to pay)!

Got to hang out with my friend Elina one evening and cook together. It was so fun. This is the dish she made. An authentic Italian eggplant dish straight from a kitchen in Italy. It was so fun to hang with her and the food was delicious!

And finally, back to mommyhood. This is me trying to figure out how to pee while wearing my child. I had to go so bad and will now have a bladder infection because I could not figure out this ultimate multitasking challenge...

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Random Confessions

2011-06-18T21:23:00.001-07:00

My 3 year old has a heightened sense of smell and a tendency to be brutally honest. Recently, she let Ricky know that his breath was "poochie" and she informed me that I needed to take a shower because I was "kinda smelly."

I walked with my head held high today and had a little extra pep in my step. Why?...because I was prepared when Malakai pooped out of his diaper and up his back while we were at a restaurant eating lunch. I cleaned him and changed him, without getting poop on my hands or on anything else besides the diaper and the wipes. I also had a clean set of clothes in the diaper bag in case this happened. I am no longer a rookie mom.

Speaking of tooting my own horn...Ricky and I have been following the Sugar Busters diet for over a month now, and I go to bed feeling like a winner every night because I stuck to the plan. Self-control when it comes to food has never been my strong suit.

I loathe my "after pregnancy belly pooch" and dream about tummy tucking it away...(don't get all crazy people. This is just a confession. I am not seriously going to get a tummy tuck)

The other day, I tried to teach my 3 year how to change a diaper so that I could share diaper duty...yeah...it didn't go over so well. She got distracted within 3 seconds.

Malakai smells like mildew because the towel I used when I got him out of the bath tonight is apparently a part of the laundry load that I failed to put into the dryer in a timely manner. (I am sure Maia's super sensitive nose will catch this)

Noah has been referred to as a girl about 10 times this week. I feel so bad, but I can't bring myself to cut off his curls!

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Constant Chaos

2011-06-10T14:34:00.001-07:00

I'm about to go outside and beat up the trash man! Why must he always come right during nap time? Seriously?! Do you know how much I need this nap time?! This time of complete silence (well, besides the washing machine...and the dishwasher...and the dryer), is the key to my sanity. I get a break from the baby's screaming, and from the toddlers fighting, and from the constant requests, "Moooooom, I'm done going poop," "Moooooom, Maia's hitting me," "Moooom, can I have something to eat?" "Mooooom, what time is it?" "Moooom, can you get me water with ice in it?"

These three munchkins are quite demanding and today I decided that I wanted to torture myself by taking all three of them to Trader Joe's. I knew I should have turned around and gone home as soon as I tried to fit Malakai's big ol' car seat in their itty bitty shopping carts. Why do they have such tiny carts anyways? Do they want to discourage mom's from bringing their screaming infants into their store. A nice gentleman saw me struggling to try to fit this humongous car seat into the abnormally tiny cart and asked if I needed help. I wiped the sweat from my brow, barked at my other two kids to "come back here so you don't get smashed by a car" and sweetly said, "No thanks, I got it." He didn't look convinced, but decided he better leave before I barked at him too.

By the time we made it into the store, Malakai had woken up from the earthquake I had created trying to get the car seat situated. So there I was with a screaming baby, and two tornados who had run off to find the "stuffy cow" so they could get a treat. For a split second I considered abandoning the cart and my tornados and running out to my truck and going home...but only for a split second.

I got all my groceries and as I was checking out I realized that my voice was hoarse from yelling at the kids to stay where I could see them, my ears were ringing from the screaming baby, and all the people in the store were glaring at me wishing I'd just leave already....oh and did I mention that I had barely been spared a disastrous incident of a cart tipping over onto a toddler with the baby in the cart...yeah...it makes me want to throw up just thinking about what almost happened.

I thought I'd continue the torture by trying to "quickly" run into two other stores. I should know by now, that I need to erase the word "quick" from my vocabulary. Nothing is "quick" when it involves 3 kids ages 4 and under.

This hour and a half errand run felt like 6 hours and by the time I got home I was very much looking forward to nap time, but of course I had to make lunches, feed the baby, wipe butts (because everyone has to poop all at the same time), and beg the kids to eat a million times before that much coveted time could be realized.

So now that they are asleep, and I have my much coveted moments of silence, the trash man decides to rain on my silent parade with his loud beeping truck right under my kids' window. Please, God, please let them stay asleep...

Sleep and Skinny Jeans

2011-05-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

I am celebrating 2 victories today...

Number 1: I woke up to my alarm this morning at 5:00 a.m.! Do you know what that means???...No?...Okay I'll tell you. It means that I didn't wake up to a crying baby at 2:30a.m.! It means that I got 6 consecutive hours of sleep! That is the most consecutive hours of sleep that I've gotten in over 2 months! I just know that you are cheering loudly in front of your computer right now because you are so happy for me!
Now, I am not getting my hopes up and expecting this to happen ever again. I am just rejoicing in my one night of 6 hours of sleep...okay... I'm lying. I'm totally begging God to let Malakai sleep like that from now on.

Number 2: I've been eyeballing my super skinny jeans every day for 8 weeks. Every time I think I may want to try them on, I decide to spare myself the disappointment and I opt for other jeans that are sure to fit instead. But, I've been on a strict diet for the last three weeks and have been getting back into a regular exercise routine. This morning, I dared myself to try the impossible. I was ready to risk ruining my whole day. I pulled the super skinny jeans off the hanger and gave them the evil eye, you better fit! I slipped my right leg in and then the left. As I tried to pull them up I was met with some major resistance. But, I was not about to give up that easily. I stretched and pulled...and took a 5 minute break to catch my breath...and stretched and pulled some more and then I squatted and pulled and squatted and pulled and sucked in and....BUTTONED! WOO HOO! My super skinny jeans fit me once again! There is no need to mention that I did not use the restroom at all today for fear that I would not be able to get them back on or that I only took short small breaths all day...those are just minor details. All that matters is that they BUTTONED!

I am almost back to where I want to be! Now, I just need to kick this cold and get back to meeting with Jillian Michaels 5 days a week!

My Wild Child

2011-05-20T14:31:00.001-07:00

Jumping on the bed = Pure Joy!

She cleans up nicely!

When Mommy is Sick

2011-05-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling rather foggy right now. I made it through my first week back at work and caught a demonic cold too. My poor kids spent the entire morning (about 6 hours) today watching television. It served as a great babysitter as I lied in bed with tissue stuck up my nose. Little Malakai decided to cooperate for the first time in his 7 weeks of life and slept all morning so that I could be miserable in peace. Woo hoo!

However, when I finally made my way out of my misery cave (bed) into the living room, I found my dining room floor soaking wet with wipees, paper towels, and cotton balls strewn all over the place. The kids informed me that they had "cleaned the house" for me with wet wipees and Noah "only slipped once and didn't even cry!" Wow!

I Better Stop Looking at Pictures...

2011-05-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

The past six weeks have been quite an emotional roller coaster for me. The combination of post-partum hormones, sleep deprivation, a super fussy high maintenance newborn, and 2 toddlers who are prone to cabin fever have made up a cocktail of insanity for this mama. Just before my last marble was lost; order, peace, clarity, and breath made their way back into my life! Phew! That was a close one. So, now that I can see clearly, I am actually sad to be returning to work this week. If you would have asked me five days ago, I would have said, "I cannot wait to get away from this screaming child!" I think I may have even asked about a return policy for babies. Yup! It was that bad!

Today I sat and looked through pictures. Bad idea. I found myself forgetting all about these moments

And realizing how time flies, how fast they grow, and remembering only these moments...

Ummm, Ricky?...I think I want another one! ;)

To Princess Maia Belle on Your 3rd Birthday

2011-05-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

My Dear Sweet Princess Maia Belle,

You are a spunky little one who keeps us on our toes. Your sense of humor is hilarious. You bring us so much joy. You absolutely adore your grandparents...

You are such a girly girl. You love jewelry and you love to paint your nails all different colors with sparkles.

You are a free spirit with a great imagination! You love to play dress up with your princess dresses.

You are such a mommy! You are mama's #1 helper with Baby Malakai. I don't know what I'd do without you!

You are so silly and you love to laugh...

But, you are also strong willed and when you don't get what you want, you are quite difficult to reason with!

You love your cousins so much.

You absolutely adore your brothers and are such a big girl! You are growing up so fast precious one and I wish I could just slow the clock down.

I enjoy watching your little personality develop and studying you. I love how you enjoy singing worship songs. I love how you are so inquisitive and ask me deep theological questions that I cannot answer such as "How do Jesus and God fit in my heart?" and "If Jesus is in my heart, does He eat when I eat?" and "Where is Heaven?"

I pray that you fall in love with Jesus and use your strong will to be uncompromising with your faith and to bring people to Jesus. I love you sweet princess!

Just Another Day in Survival Mode

2011-05-08T21:06:00.001-07:00

Today was Mother's Day and I've discovered that when you are a mommy to 3 children ages 4 and under, Mother's Day is just another day full of barking orders, laughing, disciplining, wiping butts, repeating myself over and over again, hugs and sticky kisses, dishing out spankings, teaching lessons, breast feeding, crying, kissing owies, whining, positively reinforcing, pulling out my hair etc. This day involves absolutely no relaxing. This is a day just like any other in which I find myself in survival mode just trying to keep myself and my children alive and emotionally and physically healthy. Here is what survival mode looks like for me...

Exhibit A: I really wanted to get a nice family portrait taken at church today. But by the time I got everyone ready there was barely anytime to get myself ready. So I had to go to church with bed head hair. It is so funny how in all my Mother's Day family portraits, I look terrible! I am just surviving.

Exhibit B: Went to my brother-in-law's to celebrate Mother's Day. After being there for awhile, right as I sit down to eat, Malakai starts crying. No one can calm him so I take a break from my meal and take him upstairs to try to put him to sleep. As I am bouncing him, I catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and notice that the zipper on my jeans is down. Really?! That is what I get for squeezing my post pregnancy body into pre-pregnancy jeans. I am just surviving.

Exhibit C: I am sitting on the couch at this same family function, and Malakai poops. Because I am too lazy and tired to get up from the couch to find a good place to change him, I decide to change him on my lap. Of course, in the midst of taking the dirty diaper off and putting the new one on, Malakai begins to pee. I react quickly by holding the new diaper over the stream. I feel a warm sensation all over my lap. Perfect. I spent thremainder of our time at my brother-in-law's house looking as though I'd peed in my pants. I am just surviving.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Servant

2011-04-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

So, it's been tough to find time to blog. You see I'm just trying to keep my kids and myself alive! Things are going okay around here in spite of my sleep deprivation and Maia's comment about wanting to trade her baby brother in for a quieter one. The good thing is that since Malakai is such a loud cry baby, he seems not to mind noise and will sleep through high volumes (even the cleaning lady vacuuming under his bassinet while he is in it)!

Anyways, I have been learning a lot about what it means to serve the way Jesus served in this transition to 3 kids. I've also been learning that I have some issues with entitlement (Ew)! While I was pregnant with baby #3, I prayed for a mellow, easy going, good sleeper. Instead I got a non-sleeping cry baby who wants to be held all the time. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night with him, being angry at God. Ummm, helloooo God?! Did you make a mistake? This is not what I asked for. I think I deserve an easy baby because that is what I prayed for. Sheesh!

In hindsight, I realize that what I deserved was to be struck down with lightening! Who do I think I am talking to God like that? After a few weeks of wrestling with God and acting like an entitled brat, I see now that God is teaching me what it means to be a true servant. In my quiet time the other day I was reading in Matthew 13 how Jesus served, served, served, was tired and needed a rest, but had compassion on the people and served some more. He didn't do it solely out of obedience to God, He didn't do it for what He would get out of it, He didn't do it and keep a tally so that He could come back later and tell all the people He healed,what they owed Him. Jesus did it purely out of LOVE expecting nothing in return. What's even more amazing is that Jesus served these people knowing that these were the same people who would beat, mock, and kill Him!

This completely changed my perspective from seeing this cry baby of mine and my two needy toddlers as a non-answered prayer to seeing them as a blessing and an opportunity to be like Jesus. I am called to serve them and expect NOTHING in return simply out of love for God and love for them. Even when I am exhausted, I am to continue serving with zero sense of entitlement. I am owed nothing for doing what I am commanded to do. Sheesh! Talk about being humbled...

Seeing things from this point of view has begun to make this adjustment to 3 kids a lot easier. When my cry baby refuses to go back to sleep at 3 a.m and I can barely keep my eyes open, I find myself praising God that I get to serve Him by loving on this baby. It is a constant battle for me to take my thoughts captive when I start thinking that "I deserve to sleep," or "I deserve a break," etc. but, it's a battle that's worth fighting because I want to love like Jesus loved. I owe Him everything and He owes me nothing. It's been a good mommy lesson for me...one that I will be learning for a long time!

Life with 3

2011-04-17T21:25:00.001-07:00

So life with 3 little ones is proving to be quite challenging and I have not even started "real life" (going back to work) yet! Although, I feel completely blessed by my quiver full of children, it is no walk in the park, especially when the littlest one refuses to sleep at night. Functioning on 4 to 5 hours of interrupted sleep is definitely not my forte. Here are a few of the challenges I've faced.

It's funny how my toddlers have figured out that mommy is immobile while nursing and they choose those moments to push each other's buttons and fight like cats and dogs. I find myself screaming threats of what I will do when I am done nursing and looking for something close enough to throw at them to make them pay attention to me.

Maia's personality is a strong one that takes pleasure in defying authority and doing whatever it is she is told NOT to do. Her favorite thing to do is to stick her fingers in Malakai's mouth. I constantly have to watch her when she is near him. She will touch his face and mouth and sometimes his eyeballs just because I ask her not to. Poor kid.

Speaking of touching, I find myself wanting to scream by the end of the day when someone touches me. All day long someone is touching me, whether it is the littlest drinking milk, or a toddler hanging on my leg, or a little one grabbing onto my shirt because my hands are full as we cross a parking lot. By the end of the day my skin is crawling and I desire to be alone in silence with no one touching me!

Finally, I've decided that I seriously need to learn some sort of breathing technique or Jedi mind trick to keep myself sane and calm when all three decide to whine/ scream/ cry at the same time. This is a daily occurrence and I go crazy every time. It usually happens while in the car with no escape. I usually end up joining them.

Needless to say, adjusting to 3 is taking some time. But, I am determined to get the hang of this thing soon! Pray for me!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Memories..."What The Heck is The Hafamuh Virus?"

2011-04-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

I decided to repost this because Ricky and are were reminiscing back to when we first brought Maia home from the hospital and Noah puked all over the hospital room and how stressful that time was. But, it also came with some good laughs!

A couple of weeks ago, my son Noah had a really high fever and was really sick. Ricky came home from taking Noah to see the doctor and let me know that Noah had the "Hafamuh Virus." I had never heard of such a thing so I kept asking questions. Ricky's response to all my questions was "I don't know." I looked up the virus online and found nothing. In my mind I was thinking is this virus so rare and awful that they don't have any information on it? I began to think the worst.

Me: "Why don't you know anything about this virus?" Why didn't you ask?"

Ricky: "I did ask but the doctor was Asian and had a really thick accent."

Ding, Ding, Ding! My husband cannot decipher English with an accent if his life depended on it. I, on the other hand, love accents and pride myself on imitating them and understanding English spoken in any accent.

Me: What does this "Hafamuh Virus" do?

Ricky: Well she kept pointing to his hands and feet and she checked out his throat and said something about blisters.

Hmmm...blisters on his hands, feet, and mouth; "Hafamuh Virus;" and Asian accent. I pictured my friend's mother who is Chinese pronouncing these words..."han, foo, and mou."

Me: "Oooooohhh, it's the Hand, Foot, and Mouth Virus!"

Ricky: "Oh yeah...I guess that is what she said. It sounded like 'Haa- Fa -Muh' to me and she kept saying it really fast."

Sheesh, that is the last time I send Ricky to the doctor.

Blessed By Pam Booher

2011-04-14T17:07:00.001-07:00

So, I am one lucky girl! I've been reading a book by Ann Voskamp titled One Thousand Gifts and I highly recommend it. It is life changing. But, because of the book, I have been focusing so much more on being thankful for all the gifts in my life and in doing so, my heart is so full I feel as though I am always about to burst with joyfulness! This photo shoot is one of those things I am thankful for. I am thankful that I get to call Pam Booher my family. She is one of the most amazing women I know and one of the perks of being a part of Pam Booher's family is her awesome photography skills! Here are some of the pictures she captured of our newborn and our growing family.

Malakai Kade Murray

2011-04-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

Malakai Kade Murray born at 11:11 p.m. on 4/1/2011 weighing 7 lbs 6 oz and measuring 20 3/4 inches long. He is as sweet as can be and has brought so much joy to our lives. You can often find Ricky and I staring at our little guy taking in all of his little features and willing him to stay little forever or you will find us sniffing his face and his head, savoring that sweeter than honey baby smell!

He definitely made for an interesting labor and delivery process though! I had consistent contractions for about a week and a half and had one false alarm. On Tuesday evening the doctor informed me that I would not be delivering this baby any time this week as I was not dilated at all. On Thursday morning, at my regular doctor's appt. my doctor checked me and said that I was 3 to 4 cm dilated! From that point on my contractions were 10 to 15 minutes apart and got progressively stronger but never closer together. I was determined not to have another false alarm so I just took the pain and waited for them to get to 5 minutes apart. By Friday afternoon, I was exhausted having only gotten sleep in 10 minute increments the night before. But, contractions were still 10 to 15 minutes apart. I received a phone call from my friend who is a L&D Nurse who said that I needed to go to the hospital NOW if I did not want to have the baby at home. I listened because all I wanted at that point was an epidural! Here is how the night went.

7:15 sitting in traffic having contractions 11 minutes apart. Totally thinking they are going to send me home!

7:45 check in and get hooked up to monitors. Contractions still 11 minutes apart. Nurse says they will probably make me walk before they admit me.

9:00 doc comes in checks me and I am at a 5. She says it will probably be awhile. They admit me and ask if I want an epidural. I say yes! Contractions still 11 minutes a part.

10:05 epidural in.

10:15 contractions look like they are picking up a bit. Ricky goes out to the car to get my stuff and the camera. Calls his mom tells her it will be a long night.

10:20- super strong contractions only half my body is numb, my water breaks! Poor Ricky gets a text from me and tries to run back up to my room as fast as he can with camera in hand! When he gets there the whole scene has changed, I am screaming in pain and the nurse is cleaning up my bed and the anesthesiologist is trying to figure out what the heck to do to numb the other side of my body!

10:45 nurse checks me. I am complete and ready to push.

11:00 doc comes in

11:11 Malakai is here!!!

I love my precious baby boy!

To My Big 4 Year Old Boy on His Birthday

2011-03-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

My Precious Noah,

Your mommy was way too emotional to write this to you on your actual birthday...in fact after you went to sleep that day, I sat in my chair and just cried thinking about how fast time flies and how sometimes I just wish I could stop time and keep you little forever.

You are such a big boy with a huge heart. You have a sensitivity and compassion that is beyond your years. You truly understand what it means to put others first and to always "think of others" as mommy always tells you. You are a such a gentleman at your young age, always remembering to help your mommy, to hold the door open for people, to say please and thank you, and that ladies always go first. It really bothers you when mommy gets upset at you and you always ask if I am "happy with you." You need to know that I am not disappointed in you and you apologize for being naughty when you've gotten in trouble.

People love to give you gifts because your genuine joy and excitement and gratitude ooze from you! You say "thank you" over and over again and always tell mommy, "that was so kind of them to give that to me."

Your love for toys and movies is almost obsessive! You worry about growing up and having to give your toys away like Andy from Toy Story. I always assure you that you can keep your toys forever if you'd like. You have a hard time sharing your favorite toys but for the most part you do great. You have a toy with you wherever you go and never ever travel empty handed. When you are watching movies, you zone everyone around you out which drives your sister crazy as she is a chatter box and just wants to converse with you sometimes but you can't hear a word she says because you are so into your movie.

You love to talk to Jesus, reminding me to pray for people often. Your favorite thing to pray for is traffic! You hate traffic and as soon as you see it, you pray for it to go away. Your prayers are passionate and it's funny how I think you melt God's heart, because the traffic always seems to clear after you pray.

You also love your family so much! It means a lot to you to have everyone (grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings) all together. You cherish each one of your family members and really seem to understand the blessing of family.

You love your daddy so much and your favorite times are "playing rough" with him. I can't even watch you guys play because I cringe at how rough you play. But, you always go back for more. You look up to him and are genuinely interested in the Xtreme Sports that he likes. You keep asking when you can get a dirt bike and when you can go wakeboarding by yourself. You guys even watch Super Cross together.

I pray for God to continue to grow your sweet and compassionate and selfless heart and to prepare me to walk you through the heartbreaks you are sure to experience as you watch people get hurt in this life. You can't even fathom why your sister would be mean to you just to mean! So, I know that as you grow up, you will be shocked by the hurt people cause each other. I pray that God will use you in mighty ways for his glory. I see you being a bright light in this dark world. I pray for immense wisdom in raising you to love Jesus with all your heart, soul, and mind. You are a precious gem and such a blessing to your mommy. I have to cut this off here because I feel like I could talk about you forever! Happy Birthday Sweet Boy.

6 Things You Should NOT Say to a 9 Month Pregnant Woman

2011-03-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

I have thick skin. I am not sensitive at all and I usually don't let people get to me very easily. But, I am discovering that when I am 9 months pregnant, I am extra irritable and although, I do not cry when harsh comments come my way, I find myself getting awfully annoyed. Here is a list of things that have been said to me when in the last stages of pregnancy. I figured that maybe people need a little help censoring themselves when talking to an overly pregnant and overly annoyed woman. Please take note of the following comments and spare the next 9 month pregnant person you run into...

6. I just can't stop laughing at how big you are.

5. You're still pregnant?! (Obviously I am and I really don't want to be, so please don't rub it in).

4. Well, at least your face hasn't gotten swollen yet.

3. Oh my, you're ENORMOUS!

2. This is the biggest I've ever seen you!

And the #1 thing NOT to say to a 9 month pregnant woman...(remember, these have all been said to me)...drum roll please...

1. Your grandma wanted me to call you and let you know that you look really fat.

Letter From the Retail Clerk at Motherhood Maternity That I Am Expecting in the Mail

2011-03-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Mrs. Murray,

I am afraid that our store will no longer be able to welcome you and your children after your visit on Friday. Although, we do appreciate your business, the list of things that we do NOT appreciate far exceeds the profits we made off the 2 nursing bras you purchased.

*We did not appreciate your son's opening of the dressing room door as you tried on clothes. I am sure our guests and employees alike are scarred for life.

*We did not appreciate his loud questions regarding your body that the whole store could hear as you tried on your items.

*We did not appreciate your loud shushing and yell whispering threats. In fact we are contemplating putting in a call to CPS after hearing you threaten to make your 2 year old daughter sit in the car by herself while you shopped.

*We did not appreciate your kids running wild in the store hiding under all our clothing racks causing clothes to fall on the floor.

*We did not appreciate how slowly you waddled to find them and get them to stop.

*We did not appreciate your daughter knocking down our huge window display. Those are extremely cumbersome to put up and although I tried really hard to keep my cool, I am sure you noticed my intense irritation when this occurred.

*We did not appreciate your daughter screaming and crying at the top of her lungs for 5 minutes straight while I rang you up. I found myself almost giving you your items for free just so that you would get out of the store with your brood.

I am sorry to inform you that we do NOT want to know how much worse it could get once you have that third child. Please choose another store for your maternity needs.

Sincerely,

The Nice Clerk Lady at Motherhood Maternity

9 Months Pregnant and Crazy

2011-03-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

We rented Noah a jumper for his birthday and I just couldn't let the opportunity to go down the slide pass me by. So, I climbed up the unsteady ladder in the most ungraceful fashion, lined up the kids...

and pushed off

It was all fun and games until...
My ankle got twisted and skidded against the plastic...
OUCH!

Things to Remember

2011-03-20T22:39:00.001-07:00

Noah running into my room with infant clothes exclaiming, "Look what Nana bought for my baby brother!"

Noah and Maia coming up to my belly throughout the day and kissing my belly and telling Malakai to wake up.

Noah pushing (way too hard) on my belly and saying, "Oh it's squishy there. That means Malakai is not there."

Noah pinching my tummy and informing me that he just pinched his little brother's butt.

Maia asking if Malakai kisses daddy when mommy kisses daddy, drives when mommy drives, eats when mommy eats etc.

Maia asking of the doctors will have to "pull hard" to get Malakai out of mommy's belly!

Maia informing me that Malakai is not crying in mommy's belly but rather "swimming in there."

Noah asking me to drink cold water so that Malakai can wake up and kick him when he pushes my tummy.

Noah laying his head on my tummy and singing to and talking to the baby. He never forgets to tell my tummy good night. He is going to be a great big brother.

As much as I hate being pregnant, I am savoring all these "belly moments" with my kids....and now I am crying...stupid pregnancy hormones!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

...And Then The New License Picture Came

2011-03-14T17:51:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly feel any worse about myself...my new driver's license came in the mail with my new picture on it. Seriously? I never ever want to show anyone my ID ever again. I will use cash from now on, will never order an alcoholic beverage, and will never drive over the speed limit.

I will never forget the day I took my last license picture, because someone asked me that very day if I'd gained weight. Can you believe that guy? Anyways, my face did look a little plumper than usual in that particular picture so maybe I had gained a few pounds, but this picture, the one I received today, puts that picture to shame. This picture looks like I've gained all my pregnancy weight in my face! I mean, I know that I've eaten 2 Cinnabons this week and that I've had a double scoop of ice cream or a chocolate bar almost every day of this last trimester, but for it to ALL show up in my face on my ID picture is a little ridiculous.

I contemplated posting the picture of it on here, but It is so bad that I cannot even show my husband out of sheer embarrassment. So, if you want an idea of what it looks like, just refer to THIS post.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

DONE!

2011-03-14T16:12:00.001-07:00

(This was written last Tuesday but due to technical difficulties is just now being posted!)

Today is Day 6 of being home all day dealing with my sick toddlers who are coughing up their lungs and have waterfalls of snot coming from their noses. Whinese has become the official language of our house...even I am speaking it. And now I have been infected by the bug and am angry about it. Oh and did I mention that my ankles are non-existent and my fingers look like they've been injected by fillers?

Can you tell that I am in my ninth month and that I am done? I have no idea how I will make it through the next 4 weeks. I kind of feel like this all the time...

I'd really appreciate your prayers for this child to put me out of my misery by making his arrival sooner rather than later. I have resorted to lying on the couch with my feet elevated and barking orders to my children because it hurts to move...I'm sure they'd appreciate your prayers too!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Crazy Hair Day Turned Into Embarrassing Moment #238

2011-02-27T14:35:00.000-08:00

Today was Crazy Hair Day at church for the kids. We got them ready and did their hair all crazy and when Noah had a fit and asked us to make his hair normal again, I promised him that all the other kids would have crazy hair too and it would be fun! To my dismay, when I got to church, I discovered that most of the kids either forgot about Crazy Hair Day or didn't know about it. There was only one other kid in Noah's class with crazy hair (and it was only because it's his best friend whose mom I texted this morning to remind her)! Well we dropped our children off in their respective classes and went to church. In the middle of service, Ricky gets a text asking him to get Maia. She had peed in her pants. Great! So, he had to get up in the middle of the sermon (totally embarrassing and rude) and get her.

When I got to the truck after church, where he and Maia were waiting for us, Maia was happy as a clam in a shirt and a diaper (which she has not worn in a year). I was hoping that she would hate being in a diaper, but my stubborn little munchkin would show no signs of embarrassment even if she was miserable in a diaper. Ricky informs me that not only did she pee in her pants, she peed while sitting on the sweet volunteer's lap. Ugh! When I ask her why she peed in her pants, she says "Well, my tummy didn't tell me that I had to go potty, so I didn't tell the teacher." Noah can't understand why his sister is in a diaper and repeatedly asks, "But, why is Maia in a diaper? Is she gonna take that off when we get home?" Then, my lovely daughter informs me that she has to go potty. Everything within me wants to tell her to just go in her diaper, so that I can save myself the "walk of shame." Instead, I walk my crazy haired, naked, child up to the church building where everyone is staring at me wondering what kind of mother brings their child into church with hair like that, no shoes, and no pants in 40 degree weather. All the while, Maia is whining, my feet are cold, hold me. As you know I am 8 months pregnant and can barely lug my own body weight for 3 feet without running out of breath, so there was no way I'd be able to carry my child from the parking lot to the bathroom without passing out. So, I did what any good mother would do and between clenched teeth, with a smile on my face for all the onlookers said, "And whose fault is that Maia? You peed in your pants, not mommy. So now you have to have cold feet." We successfully made the walk of shame and I captured a picture so that I could remember this embarrassing moment forever and ever.

Embarrassing Moment # 237

2011-02-20T21:51:00.001-08:00

I have experienced lots of embarrassing moments in my life but this one has got to rank in the top 5...

I am blessed to work where I do. Maia is able to go to a day care on Tuesdays for the church staff kids and has the most amazing group of teachers who love on her and care about her so much. It gives me such peace of mind knowing that she is in these people's hands. So you can imagine my mortification when Maia's sweet teacher informed me of the following conversation that she had with Maia...

She had just finished going through her regular routine of taking Maia's mind off of missing me and had set her down to go play. She noticed Maia staring at her funny...

Maia: Miss P? How come you look like a witch? (insert gasp here)
Miss P: A witch?
Maia: Uh huh.

Miss P thought maybe it was because she had a thick brown scarf on. So she removed the scarf and continued the conversation...

Miss P: Do I look like a witch now Maia?
Maia: yup!

Now Miss P thought maybe she was going through a phase where everyone was a witch..

Miss P: Does Miss J look like a witch too?
Maia: Nope, just you.

Before I go on, I have to say that Miss P is a beautiful woman who looks nothing like a witch. She is super fashionable, in shape, and gorgeous. So, Maia had no reason to say this.

When I picked Maia up that day, Miss P told me of this conversation but first made me promise that I would not get mad at my daughter! I was so embarrassed even though Miss P thought it was the funniest thing ever!

On our drive home, I picked Maia's brain for an explanation. When we got home she showed me a picture of Malificent from Sleeping Beauty and said that is who Miss P reminded her of. I must say that I was quite relieved because I think she is actually an attractive witch...I mean take away the green face and the crazy purple eye shadow and you've got a pretty woman...right?!

Thoughts From a Very Pregnant Woman

2011-02-15T19:57:00.001-08:00

Did that trucker really just throw a cat call my way in my 8 month pregnant state as I waddle down the street with my two kids? Well, what can I say, I've still got it!

This chocolate right now will totally be worth the heartburn later.

It was a really bad idea to try to dress up my cankles with cute wedges...I may have to sleep with them on now...they are stuck...

If this kid kicks me in the ribs one more time, I'm gonna...uh...uh...scream!

Will I ever know what it feels like to have full lung capacity again?

Wow! I am in so much pain, I think this baby may just drop out at any second...has that ever happened before?

Dinner for Foodies

2011-02-05T15:19:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile and I am a bit upset at myself because this is a sort of journal for me and now I am going to have 2 weeks of my life missing from it and there has been lots to write about!

About 6 weeks ago my good friend said that she had asked a particular couple to her house for dinner and that she was really nervous about it for 2 reasons: 1) the people that were coming over are Foodies. When my friend and her husband went over that couple's house for dinner, they were served a 3 course gourmet perfectly balanced meal, which my friend described as "the best meal of her life." 2) my friend does not cook. Her solution to this problem was to invite me over to join them all for dinner...and to be the one to cook! Thus began my six weeks of anxiety.

She first suggested that I cook my chilequila casserole to which I responded, "That is a "mom dish!" You can't cook a "mom casserole" for someone who served you tomato bisque with a "swirly" on top!" And so for the next few weeks I wracked my brain and lost sleep over what I would make that evening. I knew that it didn't really matter what I cooked, because this couple really wouldn't care, they were just coming over for the fellowship. But, the competitive spirit within me wanted to rank up there with the tomato bisque with a swirly!
After a million trips to 5 different grocery stores, I finally decided to make a cheese fondue appetizer, a maple Dijon pork a la Rachael Ray, and s'mores chocolate fondue dessert. When I arrived at the friend's house on the day of the dinner, she was in the middle of trying to clean her house with her two sick deliriously tired toddlers running around trying to keep themselves busy. She apologized for her appearance and the price tag that hung off of the shirt she had just thrown on. She looked like my brain felt, in disarray. We both laughed and got to work. You would have thought we were having celebrities over for dinner the way we were acting!

Anyways, the night turned out wonderfully. My hubby who I have mentioned before is the World's Most Amazing Husband, made sure to be my calming agent by doing whatever it is I needed and ended up cooking the main course after my test run didn't turn out so good! (oh and he did the entire dessert himself too, come to think of it, I didn't do much cooking that night at all, I was too busy talking!) The food was delicious and the conversation even better.

All of the stress and sleepless nights of the previous weeks turned out to be for naught. I shared with the couple of my intimidation and we laughed about it and I thought to myself, why do I stress out so much over things that I know will turn out fine?

Dragons and Whiners

2011-01-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I get these evil bright ideas and then I question my parenting skills...

This morning, before my eyes were even fully opened, my son decided to have a melt down because his sister pushed the power button on the t.v. before he did. I found my blood begin to boil and all I wanted to do was put some ear plugs in and go back to sleep. But, I couldn't. I had to be a parent and teach my son that whining and completely losing it when he doesn't get his way is not acceptable. I rolled myself out of bed, spanked him, had a talk about why that was not acceptable behavior... and then I got the mischievous idea to tell him a story about a whiny boy who got eaten by a dragon...to drive my point home! I am pretty sure that from now on, when my boy begins to whine, all I'll have to say is "the dragon might hear you" and he will be scared into silence. The sad thing is I only feel a slight twinge of guilt...not enough to take back my story.

Insert evil laugh here!

Today's Equation

2011-01-18T16:23:00.000-08:00

Cankles + 3 month old pedicure + flip flops = NOT CUTE... HIDEOUS actually

This describes my feet today and I know that you are thankful that you do not work with me and do not have to witness the hideousness. The problem is that I have no shame at this point and so I have no problem exposing my nasty toes and swollen ankles/ feet.

That's all!

28 Weeks and Counting

2011-01-12T12:22:00.001-08:00

The third trimester is officially upon me. Scary! I can't imagine adding a third little person to my already crazy life. I am content to let this munchkin bake as long as he needs to. I am so not ready for diapers, sleepless nights, crying, and lack of communication. I'm very scared this time around and I shouldn't be because I've done this twice before. Anyways, enough about my fear and onto lighter things more embarrassing things. Here are some discoveries I've made in my third trimester...

My pre-pregnancy skinny jeans stop the blood flow to my legs but I insist on wearing them anyways. They still fit over my legs and my backside (which has doubled in size). I am very proud of this and will continue to wear them until the seams bust open.

I have zero bladder control. God forbid a sneeze sneak up on me without proper warning or someone makes me laugh a little too hard. This has never happened before and I am thinking that if I were to have more children I would have to wear diapers during my third trimester.

I wake up every morning with swollen fingers, arms, and face. Seriously? What is that all about?

I feel cramps lurking all over my body waiting to launch an attack on my legs, neck, toes, or fingers paralyzing me and causing me to scream in pain...okay that may be a little dramatic but I do get very painful cramps that last for a very long time. Not fun!

My skin hurts. Bring on the stretch marks.

I was hoping to keep my weight gain to a reasonable number. After my doctor's appointment today, my weight gain will end up being very unreasonable in spite of my subtracting 7 pounds each time for my clothes. I loathe that scale.

Exercising totally helps my state of mind but jumping up and down and trying to do sit ups with a massive belly, just looks and feels ridiculous. I feel like my child is just going to drop out as I come down from a jumping jack or that he is screaming in pain as I scrunch him while doing a sit up. But, I am in a much better mental state. Is my sanity worth the pain and awkwardness?

Waddling is NOT cute...and I waddle now.

Overkill?

2011-01-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you do whatcha gotta do just to get through the moment, the day, the event etc. At the time, you don't usually think about the later ramifications of your actions. As a pregnant mom of two toddlers, I find that "doing what I gotta do just to make it through" usually involves lots of exaggeration in order to stop a tantrum or keep the peace. Lately, I've learned that the later ramifications could result in major embarrassment. Perhaps you need an example to get a clear picture of what I am trying to say...

This morning as we were driving up to our church, Noah, in a panicked voice said, "Mommy, the Christmas tree is going to catch on fire!" I looked over at the huge Christmas tree in front of our church to see if there was any signs of fire. None. "They haven't taken it down yet and it is going to catch the church on fire!" It all came back to me...

It was the day after Christmas and Ricky and I were ready to "De-Christmas" our house. As we began to take the decorations off our tree, both of our toddlers started into a full-blown melt down, "Why do we have to take down the tree?" "But, why can't it be Christmas forever?" "NOOOOO, don't take down the decorations." "Waaaaaaaaaa!" "It IS still Christmas!" You get the picture. I was in cleaning mode and did not have time to console whiny, angry, tantrum throwing children. So, I did what I had to do. I asked them, "Do you want our whole house along with all of your new toys to catch on fire?" Immediately they stopped their whining and stared at me wide-eyed. "Yup, if we leave the Christmas tree up, it will dry up and catch on fire and then our house will burn down with all your stuff in it. That's why we have to take it down." Both kids, quickly began to help us take the ornaments off the tree and place them into the storage bins.

You see what I mean? I did what I had to do at the moment to maintain peace and get on with my day. Little did I know that 2 weeks later, my son would remember my vivid description of our house burning down due to a tree that was left up too long. So, this morning when he was worried about the tree at our church catching on fire, I was caught a little off guard. Then, I remembered that I was the reason he would think that and now had to figure out a way for him not to tell that to anyone at the church lest they think I am a horrible mommy who scares her kids to death.

While I'm confessing my exaggerations, here are some more...

To stop the melt down that was occurring because we were not being able to go to see the animals at an animal shelter type place, I told my kids that a tiger bit a man's hand and we couldn't go because the tiger might bite them too. (In my defense, this was semi-true. One of the trainers had been bit by a cougar that day).

To get them to eat their food at a restaurant, I pointed out a police man in uniform sitting near us and let my kids know that he would take them to jail if they did not eat all their food. They ate quickly and quietly.

I have many others that involve junk food causing worms in their stomachs to not holding my hand in the parking lot resulting in a smashed head. Like I said, you do whatcha gotta do. I may be a little dramatic but hey, it works...as long as they don't repeat it!

Redefining the Word "Fun" When Snow is Involved

2011-01-10T20:21:00.000-08:00

We've decided that we will take our kids to the snow once a year as a fun family trip. And this year we wanted to double the fun by going with our friends Tim and Kathy and their two toddlers (whom my kids adore). Who knew that we (the parents) would find ourselves going insane (or in my case false labor) over this crazy idea of a "fun" trip?!

First of all my poor daughter, cannot handle any sort of windy road. The girl was pale as a ghost and gagging into a barf bag for half of the drive up the mountain. Then, when we arrived at our destination, we thought it would be a good idea to get the kids into their snow gear "real quick" and let them work off some energy playing in the snow. I think it took us about 2 hours to get those 4 toddlers plus ourselves into snow clothes. My goodness! Between, the tantrums, the whining over not wanting to wear the bulky clothes, finding clothes that fit, trying to get my two year old to figure out how to place her fingers in the gloves, and then having my child tell me that she had to go potty after I had just finished bundling her up was enough to make my body start having a major case of Braxton Hicks contractions and cramping in my extremities. Not to mention I was a ball of sweat and just wanted to go to sleep rather than have to carry my kids through the 3 feet of snow. I never knew it would be so complicated! But, it made for some great pictures. This was just the first few hours of our trip. The night proved to be a whole other story of crying and sleeplessness and parents on the verge of insanity.

In spite of of all the hard work and sleeplessness, we were able to squeeze in some fun! Here are some pictures!

Sometimes You Just Need a Good Laugh

2011-01-04T22:07:00.001-08:00

This picture is my inspiration to keep exercising and not give into my pregnancy cravings.

Large and Not Really In Charge

2011-01-01T10:16:00.001-08:00

Okay so I know you're going to think I am so vain after reading this post, but once again, let me remind you that this blog is for my confessions and so I am going to confess...

The other day we went to the beach with my brother and took lots of pictures. It was a beautiful day and we had a wonderful time. However, when we got home and uploaded the pictures, I was appalled! When did I get so huge?! I mean it's not just my belly! My face, my arms, my legs, and the rest of my body has just blown up (I am not brave enough to post the close up pictures). So, of course I sulked and ate Carl's Jr. and some chocolate. Then, I decided I was going to start working out again. Even though I can't really lose weight right now, at least I can exercise for my state of mind right? I put in my new Jillian Michaels DVD and have now been working out for 6 days straight. I feel much better about my large self now and am trying to convince myself that my arms are surely getting toned again.

Yesterday, I got a little too brave and tried Level 2. All I have to say is, WOW! I am much too competitive for my own good. After the warm up, I realized that this was going to be much too difficult for me, but I could not stop. I am not a quitter. I had to finish it. So, there I was with my roly poly body trying to pop myself up onto my feet from a lying down position without using my hands... let's just say, that if I had a video of myself, you would all be peeing in your pants because of how ridiculous I looked...and that was only 1 minute of the 30 minute work out.

By the time I was done, I was dry heaving on all fours and I could not stop shaking nor could I move. My husband sat staring at me from the couch shaking his head at me in a "there is something seriously wrong with you" sort of way, and my kids looked so worried they could cry. It must have left a strong impression on my kids' minds because this morning, the first thing Noah said to me when he saw me was, "Mommy, you should not do that new exercise anymore. That's not a good idea. You should just do the other ones."

We'll see if I choose to torture myself again...

A Day at the Aquarium

2011-01-01T09:41:00.000-08:00

My Little Challenge

2010-12-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

Look at that sweet, beautiful face. How could anything bad come from that precious little being? Well...let me just say it's a good thing she's cute. Let me give you some insights on this little one that God has seen fit to ~~torture me with~~ have me raise.

This one never stops talking and she always makes sure that someone is listening. This is weekend, my brain was tired from all of her talking so when she said, "Mommy" for the 5,037th time in 30 minutes, I answered with a very frustrated and tired, "What now, Maia." Maia very quickly let me know that I am not to "talk to her that way. It is not very nice."

My "little challenge" is prone to violence but always feels the need to confess. This weekend she bit her cousin when I was not present. She felt the need to confess, but in her own timing. About 12 hours after the fact, out of the blue, Miss Maia informed me, "I bite Hay-wee." We talked about why that is never an appropriate response and about how she is to respond to those situations in the future.

If she can't get her way then someone has to pay, but she will quickly maneuver a way not to get in trouble for making someone pay. This morning, she and Noah were playing with their trains and train tracks. She wanted the trains Noah was playing with but had already been told to play with her own trains. Since she was not happy, she played Godzilla and stomped on the tracks, making them all come apart. Noah started to cry loudly. Maia, knowing a spanking would soon be landing on her little bottom, tried to get him to calm down saying, "It's okay Noah, daddy can fix them." She ran to our room and sweetly looked up at her daddy and said, "Uh oh daddy, the tracks came apart. Can you fix them please? It was an accident."

This sweet little face seems to wish she was God so she could determine the sex of the baby in my belly. This morning, out of the blue, she begins to throw a tantrum because she wants the baby in my belly to be a girl. When I tried to convince her that she is so lucky because she gets to have 2 brothers, she hits my belly (remember the violence part?) and says, "NO, Malakai is a GIRL!"

So, as you can see, I have my work cut out for me with this big personality! Any words of encouragement or advice from someone who has successfully raised one of these types without killing them or yourself will be very much appreciated.

Fun with the Camera

2010-12-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

Ricky and I were blessed by his parents with a beautiful new camera for Christmas. I am so excited to have a nice camera to take pictures of my kids with. The greatest part of it all is that Ricky is turning out to be an awesome photographer with a hunger to learn all about how the camera works. So, he suggested we take the kids out to a fun setting so he could practice taking pictures. He got some awesome shots and my kids had a blast!

Murray Family Photo Shoot

2010-12-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

Shooting our annual Murray Family Photos are always quite an adventure! Trying to get 5 kids to cooperate and all at the same time is definitely a trying task. But all the adults always end up getting a good laugh out of this event. Here are a few pics...

Yes, there are better pictures than this but this one illustrates our family photo shoots perfectly!

Silly Murray kids!

Handsome Murray boys
My beautiful sisters-in-law (The Murray boys are lucky!)
My cuties!

Yup! This is as good as it gets. My munchkins refused to cooperate at the same time for a nice family portrait.

Highs and Lows

2010-12-10T14:08:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here eating my milk chocolate molasses chips from See's Candy and reminiscing on the highs and lows of this past week. I seem to be extra emotional this pregnancy which means I go from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a matter of seconds. This week has been a doozy.

Lows:

Slicing my finger really badly while being home alone with the kids. I was trying to avoid having to wash another cutting board by holding a carrot in my hand while cutting it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Maia's continuous determination to do things her own way and call the shots in this household led to many many tantrums this week. I was at a loss as to what to do with this child about one hundred times this week.

Being in a deep conversation and pouring my heart out only to realize by the person's response that they had not listened to a word I'd said. (Maybe I just talk too much...who knows!)

Feeling like the Goodyear Blimp and knowing that there is nothing I can do about it. I am only going to get bigger.

Tuesday. Tuesday was chalk full of miscommunication, plan changes, anger, no naps, tantrums by both me and my kids, a quick painful jab to my hubby with my mean words, a burst of anger, and going to sleep at 8:30 because I was such a mess.

Wednesday morning I was wracked with guilt for two reasons: 1) I felt horrible about my behavior the night before and 2) I was dreading having to deal with my defiant two-year-old for another day.

Discovering that my pedicure is about 6 weeks old and my toe nails are so long that they get sore if I wear close toed shoes.

Highs:

My hubby bringing me some Molasses Chips!

Building a Ginger Bread House with the kids. I have never built one before in my life! So fun

Watching Noah sing in his first pre-school Christmas Program. Putting hundreds of 3 and 4 year olds on stage is bound to be entertaining. This event did not disappoint. From watching Noah get annoyed with the little boy next to him who insisted on holding his hand to only seeing the back of Noah's head most of the time because he wanted to watch himself on "t.v" was awesome. (Noah is the little boy in the green shirt with his hands high in the sky...as a side note: the cute little girl next to him was in "time-out" that morning, for kicking the teacher. This actually gave me comfort because I can picture Maia doing that when she gets to pre-school next year)

God reminding me of His sweet limitless amount of grace.

Going to dinner at my good friend Kathy's house and laughing together at the hilarious things that our kids do.

Going to FUSE which is our church's couples' Bible Study. I laughed until I almost peed my pants. I love those people so much!

Hearing Noah pray for his daddy, "Lord, thank you for my daddy. He is the best daddy in the whole world. Help him not to burnt today at work or to get sweaty or to get freezing. Help his pools not to be too yucky. In Jesus Name Amen."

Hearing Maia sing "Blessed Be Your Name" while "cleaning" the sliding glass door and the floor with a wipee.

Having lunch with my dad

Seeing my cleaning lady on my front door step this morning.

Buying cute cheap maternity shirts from Ross!

Color Me Mine

2010-12-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted to take my kids to Color Me Mine so that they could paint a dish. I figured they would have fun doing it and I would have fun watching. Here are some pictures of our first Color Me Mine experience...

Noah chose a mug and wanted green, blue, and yellow for his colors

Maia wanted a plate and of course only pinks and purples

There was no specific design in mind, just mix all the colors together and paint!

After we were done the lady asked if I wanted her to out the kids' names on the dishes with the year. I thought it was a great idea! They turned out so cute!

We didn't even make it through the front door with our finished products before one got broken. Noah was devastated but insisted on still drinking from his prized creation. If you see him with a cut on his lip, it's not my fault!

Channeling My Inner Michelle Duggar

2010-12-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make: I have been a terrible mom this past week, losing my temper, yelling a lot, and running out of patience very quickly. I keep getting so frustrated that my kids are not responding to me, that they whine for everything, and that we have a daily overdose of tantrums in my household. I feel like I am at my wits end everyday. What am I doing wrong?!

Well, right when I was thinking that there was no way I could add another child to this horrendous situation, a friend of mine reminded me of the ultimate super mom: Michelle Duggar. Now, I know that many people may have a much different opinion of this woman than I do, but I seem to think that this woman is amazing! She's got 19 (or 20 I lost count) kids and she is always so cool, calm, and collected. Even when disciplining her kids, her voice remains sweet as can be and HER KIDS RESPOND TO HER! I am baffled and inspired by this woman. So, I decided that from now on, when things get dicey around the Murray household with misbehaving children, I will try my best to channel my inner Michelle Duggar. That sweet, cool, calm, collected demeanor has got to be in me somewhere...right?

Today, I tried it out and it totally worked! We were in the car and Maia decided that she was going to throw the tantrum of all tantrums. I am talking about the kind where you have to stop and question whether your child may be possessed. She was so angry at me for not giving into her demands that she wrote all over her hand with a pen, then threw her water cup, then she proceeded to take off her socks and shoes and throw them, and then took her arms out of her car seat straps and began to writhe around trying to make an escape all the while screaming at the top of her lungs (I told you it was bad)! Now, normally, I would be yelling and threatening spankings and letting her get me all riled up. Instead, I tried my new tactic, What would Michelle Duggar do in this situation? I remained calm and took a deep breath and ignored her until I could get my thoughts together. Then, I politely but firmly let her know that I would not be giving into her demands and that if she continued her behavior, when we arrived at our destination, I would have to give her a spanking. To my utter surprise, the girl, put her arms back through her car seat straps and stopped writhing. She did continue to cry for a little while, but she was not out of control and neither was I and by the time we reached our destination, I did not feel like I wanted to just leave her there and run away!

I have a whole new outlook now. Michelle Duggar definitely knows what she is doing and from now on, whenever my kids decide to be devilish, I am going to ask myself, what would Michelle Duggar do?! I am confident that this will help me get through this phase of excessive toddler tantrums and whining without going insane...at least for now!

I've Got Plans and then I've Got My Kids

2010-12-01T07:24:00.001-08:00

"We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God, who will thwart our plans and frustrates our ways time and again, even daily, by sending people across our path with their demands and requests." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I read this today on a friend of mine's Facebook page and it kind of slapped me across the face! I am a planner. So, I seem to think that my children's demands and requests such as tantrums, needing to go potty at inopportune times, and waking up at the crack of dawn are a thorn in my side; a hitch in my plans. However, according to Bonhoeffer (some wise person who I've never heard of before) these demands and requests could be God-sent and I need a change of perspective. God may be giving me an opportunity to be patient and loving and show His character to my children. Enlightening mommy moment for me today, one that I just had to share!

Pictures from Halloween

2010-11-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I never posted Halloween pictures. We went to the Trunk N' Treasure event at church and had a blast! The kids always love going because there is so much to do. This was the first year that they understood the concept of Trick or Treating and getting candy. But, I have taught them well, so about the time they received 5 pieces of candy, Noah said "Mommy, I think that's enough because candy has too much sugar and I don't wanna get sick." That's my boy! Nana came with us and the kids thought it was awesome that she dressed up like a police woman despite asking "Why she did that" a million times (They didn't understand why she would want to be a police woman when mommy threatens them with police men all the time. She's a mean mommy who tells them that the police man will come and take them to jail if they whine or don't obey). Anyways, here are some pics...

The Princess Performs

2010-11-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

The Performing Princess from Taleah Murray on Vimeo.

What can I say? She is a natural! She's got the looks, the fashion sense, and an astounding vocal range. I know, I know, I should get her an agent, right?

For White People Marrying Into Latin Families

2010-11-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is going to be totally politically incorrect, but it's my blog and I am okay with that! The other day, we had some friends over and we were discussing the learning curve that our spouses had to overcome when marrying into our Latin families. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it would have been extremely helpful for my husband to have had a list of written warnings before he asked me to marry him. This way there would have been no surprises and a lot less awkward moments. If you are Latin, you will totally understand what I am talking about. If I could go back in time here, is the warning list I would have given to Ricky before he bought my ring.

1. When I say, "We are having a family gathering at 5:00p.m." it means there will be at least 50 people there including people I do not know, but who are somehow "my cousins" and everyone will not get there until 7:00p.m. Punctuality is relative.

2. At some point my grandmother will call you, me, or someone in the room fat at every family function or will let us/them know that our/their hair is ugly or that they just do not look good. This is normal, don't get offended.

3. When you enter the room at these family gatherings, you must greet everyone in the room individually with a hug or you will be thought of as rude, inconsiderate, and anti-social. This goes for when you leave the gathering as well. So, start leaving 30 minutes before you want to get out the door.

4. Any time we go to one of my Latin family member's houses you will be offered food. Eat it! And always ask for seconds. It's a compliment.

5. If you are not a doctor, lawyer, or accountant, my grandfather will insult you and ask you why you are not one of these professions. He will also ask you for the exact amount of your yearly wages, and there is no way to get out of answering this one.

6. My grandfather will take about 7 years to learn your name, until then, he will just refer to you as "Michael." Just answer to it.

7. If you want to get on my grandfather's good side but do not fall into one of the approved professional categories, do not fear, there is hope. Become a fan of "los Doyers" and all is well.

8. There is always some type of family drama happening and everything is a BIG deal! Every family gathering is almost guaranteed to end with someone being upset about something. If you want all the details, just call grandma. She will give you all the scoop in the most entertaining and dramatic fashion.

This about covers it.

The Ultrasound

2010-11-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

We went in for our 20 week ultrasound yesterday and I so wish I would have had a video camera in the room to capture Maia's reaction. I had prepped them for what was going to happen and had given them the speech, "God decides whether it's a boy or girl and we will be happy either way." Noah had grasped this concept well. That morning he told Maia, "I hope it's a girl for you Maia." So sweet, because I know that he really wanted a boy but he was willing to sacrifice to make his sister happy.

After all the measurements had been done, the tech invited Ricky and the kids into the room. They were a little nervous walking into the dark room and seeing mommy lying down in a hospital gown. They stared at the screen wide-eyed, trying to make sense of the black and white blob on the monitor. The tech explained what they were looking at and Noah asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The tech said, "Well...you see that there? It looks like you will have a little brother." Noah's face lit up. He jumped up, clapped his hands, and let out a joyous yelp! I simultaneously watched Maia's face slowly drop into a frown. She was devastated. As the news sunk in she could not help but break down and cry a heartfelt-hopes-of-a-little-sister-dashed cry. I tried to console her from the position I was in telling her she was still going to get to be a big sister and help mommy with the baby. It didn't work. She stood there staring at the screen sobbing. Ricky picked her up and she laid her head on his shoulder and continued to weep. I could tell the tech was a little uncomfortable and I could not help but laugh at the whole situation.

Poor Maia. She is doing better now, but every once in awhile I can tell that she is still holding onto a glimmer of hope that it may be a girl in there.

Some Thoughts On This Pregnancy

2010-11-03T14:37:00.000-07:00

I love that I don't have to suck in my stomach after a big meal. I can just let it all hang out and blame it on the baby rather than on my gluttony.

I am extra forgetful this time around. I forgot picture day, I forget to take my vitamins daily, I forgot to pick up my kid from school today, I forget to brush my kid's teeth all the time, I even almost forgot to pay my mortgage...

I find myself overwhelmed all the time. Ricky says I am going to give myself a heart attack because I seem to get stressed out at the littlest things. The thought of adding another child into my already chaotic life just seems so daunting. At the rate I am going, I sure to forget a child somewhere at some point in the next year.

I can't seem to find a shampoo and conditioner that I like. Everything I've tried smells way too strong and grosses me out. I think I may just go with the dread lock look .

Why do I have these red blotchy streaks on my face? Really? What does that have to do with being pregnant? Between the hormonal break outs and blotchy streaks, my face is seriously going to break the bank with all the concealer it is requiring.

The Heart of a 3 Year Old

2010-10-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

Noah is not a good eater. In fact, I spend most meal times begging and threatening him while he complains and takes forever. It is exhausting. When I finally get him to take a bite, the food stays in his cheek for a good 5 minutes. So, you can imagine how unpleasant and long meal times are with this kid. The other day, I decided to try the "kids- are- starving- all -around- the -world tactic" to speed up meal time. Here is how it went.

Noah: (for the 40th time in his whiniest of voices) But, I don't wanna eat, I'm not hungry.

Me: You know what? There are little kids all around the world who are starving. They are so hungry and their tummies hurt really bad because they want some food but their mommies and daddies don't have enough money to feed them. So, you should be thankful that your tummy doesn't hurt and that your mommy and daddy can feed you and you should eat your food.

Noah: Do they say, "I'm hungry. I'm hungry." all the time?

Me: Yup.

Noah: Well, I have an idea! Why don't I take some of my food and take it to those kids who are hungry!

Me: (Stumped)Uh...well we can't really take the food that is on the table right now because it would get rotten, but we do help one of those kids. The little girl on our refrigerator. That is why we send her money so that her mommy can buy her food and her tummy won't hurt.

Noah: Oh! Okay. Let's pray for those other kids right now. (Folding his hands) Dear Jesus, thank you for the kids who are hungry. Please help their tummies not to hurt anymore and help their mommies and daddies have money to buy them food. In Jesus name, Amen.

Me: Noah, you have such an amazing heart. I am so proud of you...Now, can you please eat your food?

You Know You're A Bad Example When...

2010-10-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

You pull out the cleaning spray and start cleaning the counters and your daughter says, "Mommy why are you doing dat? You don't oo-sually do dat. Teresa does."

Teresa is the cleaning lady who comes once a month. Ay yaiy yaiy! My daughter is going to be a slob.

My Latest and Greatest Fashion Discovery

2010-10-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, my budget cannot handle a pair of designer maternity jeans. It just does not make sense to me to spend upwards of $150.00 on a pair of jeans that I will only wear for a few months. However, the type of maternity jeans that my wallet can afford can only be described as saggy crotch/butt jeans. You know, the kind that make your butt look saggy and make you walk like a penguin because the crotch sags down to your knees? But, I NEED jeans. I mean jeans are so versatile and I wear them at least 4 days out of the week. Do you see my dilemma?

Well, the other day, I went shopping, but I decided to skip the maternity stores and see if I could find fashionable clothing that would accommodate my growing belly in the regular stores. There I was looking for baby doll dresses, loose fitting shirts, and leggings when lo and behold, I discovered my new wardrobe staple: JEGGINGS! Jean leggings! These are even less expensive than the affordable maternity jeans and much more comfortable plus I do not have to worry about looking like I have a saggy butt or walking like a penguin! They even have some that have pockets on the butt so you don't always have to wear long shirts with them. They are absolutely AMAZING and a perfect solution to my maternity jean dilemma. I am so excited that I just had to share. Maybe one day I'll post a picture of me in my new favorite discovery!

And the Worst Mom of the Year Award Goes To...

2010-10-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

TALEAH MURRAY! (Applause here)

First of all I'd like to thank the snooze button that forced me to push it 3 too many times this morning which resulted in me not having enough time to wash my hair for the third day in a row. Next I'd like to thank the curb that jumped out at me right in front of Noah's school this morning as I was dropping him off. Because of you, curb, all the moms will now run for cover and hold their kids very close when they see me driving up to the school. I also don't want to leave out my sincere thanks to Noah's very first school picture day which slipped my mind this morning as I threw Noah's dirty gross hat over his wild bed head hair. I am so thankful for the panic you caused me as I walked into Noah's classroom this morning and noticed the room was full of groomed and well dressed kids. Without you, I may have been able to walk out of the school with my head held high (until I got to the parking lot of course). Instead, I could not get myself to make eye contact with Noah's teachers or anyone else for that matter out of sheer embarrassment for dressing my kid like a bum.

Well, they've turned the music on, so I better wrap up this acceptance speech. Real quick, I don't want to forget to thank my son for repeatedly asking, "Why'd you hit the curb mommy? Why did you drive like that?" and "Why are you making me duck and run so no one sees us?"

Just Google It...Or Not

2010-10-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

My favorite thing about technology today is Google. I LOVE Google. When I need to do research for my job, I Google it. When I need to know how to cook Basmati rice, I Google it. When my stomach pain gets so bad, and I need some suggestions for home remedies, I Google it. So far Google has been extremely helpful, but today...well, I figured out that Google is not always on the up and up.

All of a sudden, at lunch yesterday Noah said started not to feel well. He became really lethargic and developed a fever. I figured he was coming down with the Flu. He went down for his nap and woke up feeling just fine. I thought it must have been a fluke. But, at 2:00 a.m. he woke up with a fever and said he was not feeling well again. Then, he threw up and asked to watch a movie. I took his temperature about 68 times and then decided to Google "Headache and fever in toddlers." The words that showed up, sent me into a panic. "Spinal Meningitis." I read everything I could on it. Then, I went into the living room turned on every light and asked Noah if it bothered him. Duh! Of course turning every light in the house on after being in complete darkness would bother him. But, I was certain that he was experiencing "sensitivity to light" another one of the symptoms. Then, I began to squeeze his neck and ask if it hurt. After poking and prodding and asking him a million questions, he was annoyed and I was convinced that he was getting brain damage as we spoke. I began to cry and woke Ricky (my voice of reason ). He told me to just give him some Motrin and chill out. I gave him the Motrin and just sat and stared at my son, thinking through all the worst case scenarios. The fever died down and he went back to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, I called my Mother-in-law and my mom and dad to ask opinions. All the while, My Voice of Reason, sat looking at me with an amused smirk on his face. Every once in a while making fun of my craziness. I, very distraught that he was not taking this seriously, would say, "Go Google it and see for yourself!" To which he would respond, "Babe, if I Google it, I would think he was dying too. I 'm not going to Google it!" My mom and dad agreed that it is probably just a harmless virus that he picked up from school and that I just need to wait it out.

Sheesh! What a mess. I wonder how different my state of mind would have been without Google. I mean my mom had 4 kids and no Google. I am sure there were countless nights of inexplicable fevers and rashes and sicknesses. I bet she just prayed a lot and believed the best or she would have definitely been in the nut house! We all made it out relatively healthy and alive. Imagine that!

From now on, I'm gonna skip Google when I am tempted to self-diagnose my kids.

My verse for the day: "...The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:5b-7

The Dog

2010-10-15T13:39:00.001-07:00

Look Mom! I drew a doggy!

Apple Farm 2010

2010-10-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

When I was little, my best friend used to always tell me about her annual trip to Glen Oak to pick apples. The following day, she would come to school with the most delicious homemade applesauce. I was always a little jealous of her yearly trips. So, I made the decision that I when I had kids, we would make a tradition out of going to Oak Glen yearly. I have kept my promise and we are now going on three years of going to Riley's Farms to pick apples. My kids absolutely love it! This year we invited Bramma (Grandma) to come with us and we had a wonderful time. It was a gorgeous day and the kids had a blast!

Maia felt as though it was free snacks all day long.

Looking for a good tree with the best apples. (We were not so good about following the rules)!

Bramma found this tool and got the apples from way up high...

Cheeeeeeese!
Everyone eat an apple!
Reach for it Maia...
Uh oh...it fell...
Look what I found
Dandelions, our favorite!
Run, Noah, Run! (My favorite picture)!

Okay, mom enough pictures already. How many times do we have to say cheeeeeeese?
My precious family. I am a lucky girl!

Discipline or Death

2010-10-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." Proverbs 23:13-14.

In America today, these verses would not be well-accepted. I can see it now, CPS at my door for posting this verse on my blog! However, it's a good thing for me that I do not answer to American culture. Instead, I answer to God.

He has given me these precious (sometimes) children to nurture, love, and raise for His glory. And, He has given me instructions on how to do so. If He tells me not to withhold discipline, then I should probably obey! When I read this verse a couple of days ago, I felt my face turn red. Why? Well, I was ashamed of myself. I'd been having a rough couple of weeks with my kids misbehaving and I realized that it was because I was being slow to discipline. As a mom, I never get a break and sometimes it's just easier to be inconsistent or to bribe them out of making a scene. Reading this was like a slap in the face! By being lazy, I was contributing to their bad behavior and making life worse for myself. If I want to incline their souls toward Jesus, I must teach them obedience, selflessness, and self-control now. If that means bringing out the spanking spoon a little quicker and more often, then so be it. I've got to stop being so lazy because the alternative to disciplining them is to incline "their souls to death." How scary is that?

Anyways, I just thought I'd share...deep thoughts from the Confession Mama!

My Ideal Vs. My Reality

2010-10-05T18:07:00.001-07:00

Ideal: My kids would wake up in a happy mood at 7:00. Get their own breakfast, eat it by themselves within 5 minutes without needing bribes, get dressed on their own without me begging, and brush their teeth without whining. I'd have time to pack everyone's things for the day including my own. We'd all get into the car in 3 minutes flat by 7:30 a.m. and have a pleasant drive to school without anyone having to go potty and no traffic. I'd walk into the office 15 minutes early with a smile on my face genuinely asking everyone how they are doing.

My Reality: Kids wake up at 7:00 a.m. whiny and Noah wet the bed. I have to beg them and chase them down to get them to eat, get dressed, brush their teeth, do their hair and carry their luggage out the door. I am flustered by all the begging and whining that I forget to feed myself, make my lunch, take something out for dinner, and put my shoes on. I bribe the kids to get into the car at 7:43 a.m. We are late. We get to the freeway and there is a ton of traffic. Noah whines and lets me know that he does not like traffic. 10 minutes into the traffic, Maia informs me that her tummy hurts which usually translates to, "I have to go poop." I tell her that I will take her potty as soon as we get there. I start to gag from the stress of being stuck in traffic with 1 toddler that has to poop and 1 toddler that is whining about the traffic. We finally get out of the traffic and off the freeway and Maia starts to cry over her tummy hurting. As I look in the rear view mirror I notice that she looks a little pale and before I can process the meaning of that, she pukes all over herself and her car seat. It smells. I gag. Noah panics. I ask if she has to throw up more and throw her a grocery bag that happened to be in my purse. She cries. Did I mention it's raining and I have no umbrella? We make it to the school parking lot and I search the car for my spare wipees that I leave in the car for situations such as these. They are nowhere to be found. I call Ricky to yell at him for taking the wipees out and tell him how stressed out I am (I needed to take out my frustration on someone...don't judge me). I throw Noah's nap time blanket over my head and attempt to remove Maia from her vomit covered seat and clothes. I dress her in the spare outfit I packed, a Summer dress in which she will freeze on this rainy day. Perfect. Meanwhile, Noah is crying because his nap time blanket is getting all wet from the rain. We finally get everyone cleaned up and we run to drop Noah off at his classroom. He is late. When I drop Maia off at her classroom, she screams and cries and begs me not to go. I start to wonder if maybe she has the flu. But, I have no other options. I have to leave her. I need to go to work. As I make my way to the office, I hold back tears while gagging from the stress. I walk into the office late and am so consumed by my crazy morning that I don't even notice everyone saying hi to me. I feel like a horrible person, a horrible mom, and a horrible employee.

Yup, this is my reality. Someday, I will laugh about all this chaos...

P.S. Maia did not have the flu. She was just carsick. Today on our drive I left the windows open the whole time to save us from another vomit incident. I didn't care that it was raining. I told the kids that it was their bath for the day. I think they thought I was crazy!

Toddler Conversations

2010-10-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

Ever since Noah and Maia were away from each other for a couple of days, Noah has been very sweet to his sister. (I can't say the same for Maia...the bite mark on Noah's arm is all the evidence you need to tell that). The other day, Noah sat in her chair while she was away from it, but when she came back, he kindly gave it to her and apologized for sitting in it. Today, when getting into the car, he let her go first announcing, "Ladies always go first." However, my favorite picture of his kindness toward her happened on our walk to the car after church. Noah gently placed his hand on Maia's back as they walked...

Noah: What story did you learn in your class today Maia?

Maia: We had a story about Jesus.

Noah: (taking her hand) Oh, that's a good story.

Maia: What story did you learn Noah?

Noah: We had a story about Jesus too! (Noah, then eyed their crafts and noticed the differences) Why is your Jesus so big?

Maia: Oh because my Jesus has a heart in his belly.

Noah: Ooooh! My Jesus has a door on his heart.

Maia: Oh!

Normally, this would lead to a brawl over whose "Jesus" was better. But, today they appreciated the differences in the "Jesus" crafts and continued to walk hand in hand to the car ever so sweetly. Toddlers are so entertaining!

Maia's "Jesus"

Noah's "Jesus"

Words with Toddlers

2010-09-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

My kids say the funniest things. When they say these types of things, I try to store them in my memory bank until I can make it to a computer to blog about them. However, being pregnant and semi-crazy does not lend itself to remembering things. So, many of those things are long lost. But, today I did remember a couple of things that my kids said recently.

A couple weeks ago Maia was trying to tell me that "cows eat hay" but, she forgot the word "cow" so she said: "Moos eat hay mommy."

Noah wanted to play with the Play-doh, but couldn't quite remember the word:
"After dinner mommy, can you get the potato out for me to play with?"

Maia: (Loudly in a public setting) I gotta go poop!
Me: (Whispering to her) You mean you have to go potty?
Maia: No, I don't have to go potty. I gotta go POOP!

Emotional Wreck

2010-09-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! I am a complete mess...I blame pregnancy hormones. I just dropped the kids off at separate houses for the night for the first time ever. I cried like a baby the whole way home (well until Ricky bought me ice cream). My mother-in-law who usually watches Maia on Thursdays is going to San Diego for a couple of days and asked to take Maia with her since it falls on her babysitting day. I thought it was a great idea and a great way for Maia to get some one on one time with her "Bamma." But, when I dropped Maia off tonight, she cried and cried as she watched us leave. She never does that, but because Noah was not there with her, it was different. I know that she will be fine, but my pregnancy hormones are making everything so much more dramatic. I just can't stop crying. She is so used to being with Noah everywhere. He is her comfort. She never cries when I leave her places because he is there with her. They've never slept overnight in separate rooms let alone separate houses! Can you tell I'm emotional about this?

I knew that the first day of pre-school would be tough. I know that the first day of kindergarten, Jr. High, and High School graduation will be hard. I am prepared to be a mess when I see them off to college and watch them get married. But, I was NOT prepared for the first time they would spend the night in separate houses.

I'm telling you, this pregnancy is going to land me in the mental institution. Sheesh!

**I called this morning and my sweet mother-in-law assured me that she slept in the same room as Maia so that she wouldn't be lonely and Maia slept great and woke up happy as can be. Now they are off for a fun vacation!

The Scale

2010-09-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

You know that scale in the doctor's office that is always broken and adds about 5 pounds to your true weight? Well, I hate that scale. The last time I was on it, was about 9 weeks into my pregnancy and it said I'd gained 8 pounds in 9 weeks! Ridiculous! What's worse is that they would not let me take my shoes off nor did any amount of my begging get them to lower my weight by 5 pounds on my chart because of my shoes.

So, for my 12 week doctor's appointment, I came prepared to challenge that stupid scale to a duel. I wore the lightest Summer dress I could find in my closet and flip flops that only weighed 1 pound as opposed to my 5 pound wedges. Holding a steady gaze on that little screen, I stepped up onto the scale daring it to disappoint me again. It beeped and beeped and beeped again toying with the idea of giving me an unsatisfactory number but then thought better of it fearing my violent reaction. And what'dya know? I weighed 4 pounds less than the last time! Woo Hoo! I showed that scale who was boss and I will never wear jeans and wedges to the doctor ever again.

Tidbits From This Weekend

2010-09-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

* Maia decided to throw one of her daily tantrums while on the beach on Saturday in front of an audience. She plunged herself face first into the sand protesting my decision to take the shovel away from her. Then, in an effort to really sock it to me, she picked up a handful of sand and shoved it in her mouth. Immediately, she realized the mistake she'd made. Mommy and Daddy were not reacting as she intended. Instead, we both turned around and stifled our laughter. Then, we just watched her to see what she would do next. She discreetly tried to rid her mouth the grainy substance, pushing it out slowly with her tongue, all while keeping a pouty face to assure us that she was still angry. Definitely, a tantrum to remember.

* Conversation while paying for parking at the beach:

Ricky: HOLY CRAP! $15.00 for parking? This is ridiculous!

Noah: Daddy? (Thoughtful pause) Did you just say a naughty word?

Me: Yes, he did Noah, and daddy is sorry. Right, Babe?

Ricky: Yes, daddy shouldn't have said that word.

Noah: Next time when you wanna say that word, you should say, 'Aww nuts' instead. Kay Daddy?

Ricky: Okay Noah.

* Ricky, Maia, and Noah have all been sick with a cold, so the kids have been asking why they get sick? Here are the reasons they've come up with...

Maia: Maybe the sun got Noah sick

Noah: I think it's cuz I watched too much t.v.

Maia: Daddy ate too much sugar, that's why he's sick

Noah: I think it's cuz daddy didn't eat all his vej-a-vuls.

A Much Needed Good Day

2010-09-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

*Sigh* I am sitting here enjoying the sweet aroma of my new Creamy Pumpkin candle and sipping on my delicious Chai Rooibos Latte. Today was a good day...I needed a good day. I have had quite a few bad days lately.

After puking up stomach bile this morning, I attempted the impossible task of getting my kids and I ready, packed, and out the door by 7:30 a.m. in order to make it to Disneyland by 9:00a.m. We got out by 8:00a.m., picked up my wonderful mother-in-law and headed out for a fun day at the "happiest place on earth." We had a so much fun not waiting in long lines, exploring Tom Sawyer's Island, and going on rides that were out of our normal Disneyland routine. I had my new Preggie Pops on hand when I got nauseous which actually helped a bit. I had such a great time, that even Maia's loud -obnoxious- bathroom-while everyone is waiting- tantrum nor the outdoor- on -the- cement- in- front -of- everyone -tantrum could not ruin my day.

After we got home and took naps, we went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and then to the Shoppes to walk around. I found a really cute children's book that made me laugh out loud, then I got a really great deal on Fall candles, and to top off the night I discovered a delightful alternative to coffee which brought me the same result. Ahhhhh...maybe this is the beginning of the end of my funk. Even though I threw up twice today, I feel like I may be on the up swing! Woo hoo!

Side Note: I LOVE coffee. I look forward to it daily. I crave it. I need it. It's a simple pleasure that brings me oodles of joy. However, when I am pregnant, the thought of coffee makes me want to vomit. And that makes me angry. So angry in fact, that I have actually forced myself to choke down a cup despite my disdain for it. This makes me despise the substance even more. End of side note

Mom to the Rescue

2010-09-15T12:12:00.001-07:00

I called my mom today to come over and rescue me. Noah woke up sick, Ricky is sick, and I am having a really bad week nausea, stomach problems, sciatic nerve pain...you name it. It was lunch time, and I could feel that I was losing my grip. Noah had just tackled his sister to the floor, then when he went to give her his apology hug, she bit him. This was right after Noah pooped and I threw up from wiping him and Maia insisted on watching me. That was right after Maia refused to clean up her mess and hit me when I told her she had no choice. And that was right after Noah had a coughing attack and a breathing treatment. My morning was chalk full of yelling, threatening, consoling, and begging. I asked God if He really meant to subject another one of these little ones to my horrible parenting. Did He not see how badly I was screwing up with these two? He said He knew what He was doing. I cried. Then, I called my mom and asked her to come over after she got off of work to put my household back in order and to take care of all of us as I just can't seem to get the job done right now. I am not Wonder Woman after all and I am okay with that.

More Confessions from a Pregnant Woman

2010-09-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a girl just needs to feel attractive, ya know? Well, I've kissed attractive goodbye while pregnant. Here are some of the reasons...

While in church the other day, I had a major hot flash and felt a sweat drop drip from my arm pit down my arm. (Insert gag here).

I vomit daily and I vomit violently. Example: The other day while puking in the toilet, it all splashed up into my face and into my hair. (Gag again)

I now have a muffin top because all of my pants are too tight. Definition of muffin top: The fat that overflows the top of your pants.

My face is always oily and I discover a new zit daily to add to my collection.

I feel like a blob. Yup, just one big huge blob of bleh that moves in slow motion all the time.

I could go on and on about my unattractiveness, but in order to maintain some shred of dignity, I will stop here. If you are pregnant or ever have been pregnant, can I please get an "AMEN" in the comments section? I'd really appreciate it.

Noah's First Day of School

2010-09-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

So, I was a bit of a wreck the morning of Noah's first day of school. He was really excited until we actually walked up to the school. Then, he began to have second thoughts, "Mommy, I don't wanna go to school. I wanna stay with you." It was a good thing my friend, Debbie came with me for moral support or I just might have made a run for it, taken him home, and played hooky from work. I assured him he'd love it and continued the walk to school. As we were making our way to the classroom, I saw all the other parents there with their big ol' professional cameras taking pictures of this milestone in their child's life. SHOOT! Again, I get the World's Worst Mommy Award. How did I not even think to bring a camera?! Then, I remembered that I had my iPhone in my purse. It would have to do. I took a picture, took a deep breath, and left my Noah with the teacher at the playground who invited him to draw on the floor with chalk. I did not even get to kiss him goodbye. I did not want to make a scene. Debbie, rubbed my back and told me it would be okay. I felt my eyes get hot, but I willed myself not to cry. I was successful.

Throughout the day, I had three different people give me updates on Noah. He was doing great, not crying at all, and participating in all the activities. I could not wait to hear all about it from him. When 2:30 rolled around, Ricky came to pick him up. Ricky, Maia, and I all walked over to the school together to pick up our big boy. When I walked into the classroom, he was eating his snack with all the other kids. I noticed his crooked shorts and half tucked in t-shirt when he stood up. He got a huge smile on his face when he saw us and came bouncing over. Before Ricky or I could get to him, Maia embraced him in a huge hug as if she was seeing him for the first time in months! He hugged her back and did not get annoyed when she would not let go. She missed him so much! Again, I felt my eyes get hot, but I refused to let the tears fall!

The teacher told us how well he did and on our walk to the car, he told me how he listened to a froggy story, painted with green paint, climbed up the blue red and yellow letters, danced with sticks to a funny bear song, ate graham crackers, played with Larry Boy, was the "light helper," prayed, and went potty all by himself.

My heart was full!

Conversations with My Kids Today

2010-09-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

Eating dinner and talking with Noah. He explained something to me...

Me: "Oh that makes sense."

Noah: "Why did you say that word?"

Me: "What word?"

Noah: "That word."

Me: "That makes sense?"

Noah: "Yeah."

Me: "Because when you understand something, you say 'That makes sense.'"

Noah: "Well I don't like that word. You shouldn't say it anymore."

Me: "Okay. If it bothers you that much, I won't say it anymore."

Noah: "Kay."

I was talking with Ricky about how my sister-in-law was currently in labor and that they had just broken her water. Maia was listening intently to our conversation...

Maia: "Why her water broke?"

Me: "When babies are in the tummy, they are in water. So, when they come out the water comes out."

Maia: "You have a cup of water in your tummy?"

Me: "No. It's more like the baby is swimming in water."

Maia: "You have a big pool in your tummy?"

Me: "No, a big pool wouldn't fit in my tummy."

Maia: "You have a cuzzi in your tummy? The baby is swimming in it?"

Me: "Yup."

Maia: "Oh!"

Change

2010-09-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time with change. I mean, it's not that I lack flexibility. It's just that it's hard to say good bye to the familiar and hello to the unknown. There are lots of changes happening around here lately and I think the anxiety of it all is adding to the nausea. Thus, I will not be sad when this season of change and nausea is over.

Noah starts pre-school next week. He will be going on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:00 to 3:00. I am going to cry like a baby all day that day. I am sure of it. He is beyond ready, but I am not. Yesterday, he was a 5 lb baby in the NICU fighting for his life! How the heck is he 3 1/3 going on 13 today? No matter how much I beg him to stay little, he assures me that he is bound to get bigger because he eats all his "veja-vuls" and because he wants to go wakeboarding by himself.

Guck and Bup are moving out of their house and will have to wait a bit before they get into their new house as it is not done being built. So, not only is Maia going to have to adjust to being without her brother for the first time, she is also going to have to adjust to an unstable babysitting situation for awhile. I really think she will do fine, but me? Well, I am a bit stressed out for her. I know that once Guck and Bup get settled into their new house, Maia will never want to leave, but until then I don't know what to expect!

Did I mention that I am pregnant? Oh yeah, I have. Did I mention that I am nauseous 24 hours a day and that I throw up at least twice a day? Oh, I yeah, you knew that too! Did I mention that this pregnancy was not planned and that I hate being pregnant? Pregnancy doesn't agree with me and so it is hard to function everyday. Everyday I pray that I will stay positive and not sink into the "woe is me" negative nelly pity party. It is not an easy task. And, with all of the changes staring me down, it makes it even tougher. It also doesn't help that I have not been able to work out and that I have gained EIGHT POUNDS according to the sale at the doctor's office (I would just like to say here that I had my heavy wedge shoes on, heavy jeans, and I had to pee really bad...combined all of that HAS to weigh 5 pounds, right?).

This will definitely be a time in my life that I will remember well. I just pray that the nausea and anxiety does not get the best of me and that I can truly "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding." I know that trials produce character and perseverance. Pray for me!

Confessions of a Pregnant Woman

2010-08-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on my way to work, I saw a picture of a breakfast burrito on a restaraunt window and HAD to have one even though I'd just eaten breakfast. I bought one and almost crashed because I was eating and driving, and eating was much more important to me than driving.

Every evening at around 8:30, I eat Eggo waffles with butter and syrup and a cold glass of milk.

The thought of cupcakes makes me gag.

I was determined to fit into my skinny jeans one last time today. I have been in pain all day and I think my jeans are probably in pain too, but at least they are staying buttoned and I look skinny.

Noah asked me how the baby comes out...I lied and told him that they cut my tummy open to get the baby out (it is a possibility, not really a lie), he was traumatized...but I think that was less traumatizing than the other option...Any suggestions for appropriate answers for my 3 year old?

In a Funk

2010-08-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy is a miracle and it is a gift. I need to remind myself of that multiple times a day. Why? Well, because I feel like I am living in this cloud of nausea. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, my stomach feels as though at any moment it will rid itself of its contents. In the midst of this cloud, I must complete my daily tasks of caring for two toddlers, being a wife, and having a job. It is all so daunting and all I want to do is sleep. I know that this is only for a season, but it seems never ending.

Bleh...

Goodbye Hello

2010-08-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

I'm saying goodbye to skinny jeans and hello to sweats

I'm saying goodbye to clear skin and hello to teenage pimple face

I'm saying goodbye to a good night's sleep and hello to peeing at 12, 2 , and 4 in the morning

I'm saying goodbye to feeling great and hello to nausea, vomiting, water retention, and fatigue

I'm saying goodbye to life as I know it and hello to another one of these:

Now that you are over the shock, I will answer your questions...

No, it was not planned (none of my 5 pregnancies were planned, you can just call us irresponsible)!

I have no idea how we are going to fit 3 kids in a 2 bedroom 1,100 square foot home. We are counting on God to do a miracle.

Yes, we are excited. Ricky was excited from the moment we found out, I needed a little time to process.

Noah and Maia are ecstatic!

I am hoping for a boy because I think another girl will send me to the looney bin!

Yes, I am planning to keep doing the Shred until I physically can't do it anymore.

I am about 6 1/2 weeks along and guessing that this will be an April baby.

It's Been Awhile

2010-08-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hi, yup I'm still here. Just been a bit preoccupied lately. I will share more on that at a later date, but for now, let me just catch you up on the life of this working mom who is trying to keep her sanity while raising two toddlers.

Last week, I had a moment where I thought I seriously was on the verge of insanity. I almost ran out of my house screaming. I felt as though I could not take another second of the chaos. Maia was sick and clingy which means I carried her around 24 hours a day for about 5 days straight. I had not been getting good sleep because she was up most of the night. And, Noah had chosen those days to pick up his incessant whining habits again. On day 6, I was supposed to go to work, but I could not get a babysitter. The insanity was creeping in. I needed a break, badly. But, no break was to be found. So, I spent the day in chaos mode. I could not seem to get control of any situation, and I found myself counting down the minutes to nap time. The day was a whirl wind of loud tantrums and crying with a steady background of whining. It was enough to make even the coolest, calmest, most collected person crazy. I thought for sure, Ricky would come home to a wife with a twitch, rocking in the corner, and talking to herself.

However, by God's grace, I maintained my sanity and bolted out the door for some "alone time" as soon as Ricky walked through the door!

My conclusion to the situation is one that I am sure many people will have strong opinions about. But, I am going to say it anyways: Some people were just not cut out to be stay-at-home moms. I am one of those people. I am so thankful for the way God has blessed me to be able to be home with my kids 3 1/2 days a week and at work the other half of the week. It is a perfect balance for my sanity and I love it! There, I said it.

My Goal in Life is To Drive My Mom Crazy

2010-07-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Maia and I made of sugar and spice, and a lot of sass! See, these sassy sunglasses I am wearing? I got them by throwing a tantrum. Yup! I wanted Mommy's sunglasses and didn't get them, so I screamed and cried and threw a fit (my 7th one of the day) and finally my mommy gave in and bought me my own pair of sunglasses. I can be cute as a button but if I don't get my way, then I will make everyone around me miserable until I get what I want!

Is This Normal?

2010-07-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

So my daughter is finally starting to get the hang of going #2 in the toilet, but I am a little concerned about her imagination when it comes to her poop. Today as she was sitting on the toilet, she would turn around every so often to study the contents of the toilet. She informed me that there was a "tiger poop," a "baby tiger poop," and a "butterfly poop!" Ay yaiy yaiy!